Getting Ready for My TEDx Talk!

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating after divorce, love after 40 | 8 comments

TEDx talk outfit

My heart is thumping out of my chest. I’m feeling a combo cocktail of excitement and fear. You see, I’m giving my first TEDx talk tomorrow. Exciting, right? Not only is it my first TEDx, it’s my first public speech without notes, in front of 300 people, with cameras rolling. Yikes!  Since my divorce, I’ve pushed myself way beyond my comfort zone. This has to be the furthest I’ve ever pushed. But I’m doing it. Because I have a message that I want to share, that I’m passionate about. I’m doing everything I can to prepare and be the best I can be as I get ready for my TEDx talk!

 Getting Ready for My TEDx Talk

My talk is very personal. It’s about my journey from being a guarded tough ‘I can do it all myself’ woman (who repelled the very men I was attracted to), to learning to unguard my heart and open to finding love again after divorce.

The talk is called “I Used to Live My Life as a Tootsie Pop”. Just like the classic lollipop has a thick outer layer surrounding its soft chewy center, I, too, had developed layer after layer of protection to guard my heart from the pain of many failed relationships.

It wasn’t until I became a dating coach that I really began to understand the importance of becoming vulnerable in my pursuit of love.

It was scary to unveil my heart. But it was the key to intimacy in all my relationships. I learned that to have true connection, I needed to learn new ways of relating to men.

I won’t give away the ending. I will post the video as soon as it’s live.

In the meantime, here’s the link for the live feed in case you want to watch it live tomorrow. I’m scheduled to go on at 11:45, but I have a feeling it will be later. Send loving thoughts to me : )

Oh, and the photo of me above? That’s me trying on different outfits with my image consultant, the wonderful Scarlett De Bease. She spent five hours with me on Monday, helping me go through my closet and come up with the best outfit for TEDx.

She also put together outfits that I would never have thought went together. That’s the magic of having an expert go through your closet. I’ve attached some photos of those outfits.

IMG_2885Sandy Weiner











Asking for support was key to getting me through these past few months of fear around my TEDx speech. I hired a speech coach, joined Toastmasters, rehearsed in front of many audiences, and got lots of love and support from family and friends. It’s important to remember to ask for support, especially when you do something scary.

I’ve gotta go rehearse my speech, get my hair done, and get a manicure.

Please wish me luck. I could use all the support I can get!

What scary thing will you do today to push past your comfort zone? It may feel terrifying at first, but it will grow you beyond your wildest dreams. And don’t forget to ask for help.





  1. Cheers to you! You’re going to be awesome! 🙂

  2. do we get to vote on the outfit?

  3. I hope your Tedx talk goes really, really well today. I love both of your looks!

  4. I’m so excited for you, Sandy! I hope your talk goes really, really well. I love both of your looks!

  5. Thanks, Julie! I wore the Nanette Lapore dress, the one in the first thumbnail at the top of the article.

  6. Thank you so much for your support! I was prepared and I’m happy with how the talk went. And relieved! I’ll post it when it’s live on the TED site.

  7. Sorry, Suzen, I trusted Scarlett with voting on the outfit. Even though my kids didn’t agree with her choice, I went with the expert opinion. And the most important thing? I felt confident in my outfit, and that made me perform better.

  8. Thanks so much! I appreciate the support.

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