Getting Ready for Something Real

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something real

If you’re ready for something real, this podcast episode is for you! Relationship Coach, Roy Biancalana, shares how to be relationship-ready.

Roy Biancalana is a certified relationship coach, a nationally recognized expert in the field of attraction and conscious relationships, and the host of The Attracting Lasting Love Podcast. He’s a frequent TV analyst and the author of three #1 best-selling books, including his latest, Relationship Bootcamp: Hard-Core Training for Life, Love & the Pursuit of Intimacy.

For the past 15 years, Roy has been supporting people in attracting healthy, sustainable, intimate relationships. His experience has taught him that getting in “relationship shape” is the  key to attracting lasting love. 

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • Roy’s story of transformation in his relationships
  • The power of relationship coaching
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns 
  • Strengthening the 7 relationship muscles
  • The law of attraction and how it can work for and against you
  • Preparing for something real

EP 518: Roy Biancalana – Getting Ready for Something Real

How did you get into relationship coaching? 

The coaching comes from my personal journey. I made every relationship mistake. I was married nineteen years, and that relationship became a platonic coparenting relationship. We didn’t fight much or ‘f’ much. It wasn’t very satisfying. I got divorced and didn’t take the time to learn from my past relationship. I rebounded into the next relationship – which was the opposite of my non-sexual marriage. It was completely sexual. We were engaged, and she broke up with me six months before marriage. I was devastated and a mess. 

I still didn’t reflect on what happened. I was in so much pain, I joined four new dating sites to meet other women and forget about her. I thought I was ready and emotionally available. I wasn’t.

Eventually my friend said maybe I needed to hire someone. I asked why, because I thought all my relationship struggles were because I hadn’t met the right woman yet. It was them, not me. But, I hired a coach, who said, “I don’t want to hear about the women you’ve dated. I want to know if you’re willing to discover what you contributed.” I looked in the mirror and discovered it really was me. I had some blind spots and limiting beliefs. My childhood conditioning was impacting my relationships.

That’s what led to my transformation and marrying the right woman, and eventually helping others do the same.

In your new book, ‘Relationship Bootcamp’, you talk about “the biggest mistake we make in our pursuit of intimacy.” What is it?

Imagine you would like to compete and do well in a triathlon. Imagine I’m a former ironman champion and now I’m a coach. You ask me questions about what happens on ‘race day’. You’re not asking what you really should be asking, like ‘how do I get in shape for the race?’ It’s much more important to get the training, not ‘where do I go to meet someone’ or ‘how do I flirt’, which are race day questions. The better questions are ‘am I in shape to go the distance in relationships?’ You can meet your person anywhere, but you need to be ready to relate in conscious, mindful, healthy ways so you can go the distance. Ask yourself, “Am I ready for something real?”

Your book describes 7 relationship “muscles” that need to be strong so we can attract “something real”. Can you share a few?

One of the ‘relationship muscles is your relationship to the past will create walls around your heart. I help clients let go of the past and not bring it to your relationships.

Another is your relationship to your emotions. Emotional connection is key to intimacy. We need to strengthen that muscle. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Find your authentic self. Identify your dating and relationship patterns. When you realize you’ve been fear-driven, discover who you’d be without fear. That’s when you’ll find the right relationship. 

Watch this episode on YouTube


Roy’s free gift: Get yourself in relationship shape with The Relationship Fitness Self Assessment Test at https://coachingwithroy.com 

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