Getting Up the Nerve to Leave a Narcissist

Posted by in breaking up with grace, dating a dangerous man, dating a narcissist | 0 comments

stop dating narcissistsHello Sandy!

I just came across your article giving the 5 ways to identify and stop dating a Narcissist.  It hit the nail on the head with my boyfriend. I have a tendency to date/marry these kinds of guys. I need to figure that out.  I think it goes back to my father.

I have identified finally that my current boyfriend has a cycle. At first he is the best guy ever, wants to marry me, says I am the most amazing woman he’s ever met, etc.  Then overnight he becomes distant, uninterested, too busy for me, says he’d invite me to dinner with him at his parents but there’s not enough pizza (really odd stuff). And when I tell him my concerns about it, it sparks a fight and he will then give me the silent treatment and break up with me suddenly rather than talking it out.  He says he can’t talk to me when I treat him like that because it hurts him and he is trying to protect his heart.  Then he wants me back and sweeps me off my feet again. 

Thanks for the article, it is helping me.  I just need to get the nerve up to actually leave a narcissist for good!


Dear Katie,

I am not a therapist and therefore, am not qualified to diagnose your boyfriend as a narcissist. Even if I were a therapist, I couldn’t diagnose him through information shared in an email. But as a dating coach, I can tell you that he’s a lousy boyfriend! And you don’t want to be with someone who treats you like he does. So, this isn’t necessarily about how to leave a narcissist. This is about how to leave a bad guy who treats you like garbage.

From your email, it seems like he makes grand statements (wants to marry you, tells you you’re the most amazing woman), but his actions and words don’t match.

You also say that he won’t accept responsibility for his actions. When you want to talk things out and express your hurt feelings, he gets mad and defensive.

This guy is bad news. And I know how hard it is to leave him for good. I’ve written many articles about narcissists, jerks, and bad boyfriends.

I’ve also written extensively about how to leave a narcissist, a jerk, a bad boyfriend. Please check out these articles.

Leave a Narcissist

As difficult as it is to break up with someone who loves you and leaves you and loves you and leaves you, you need to hop off that train or you’ll be stuck in the love you leave you cycle for the rest of your life. You deserve so much better.

Get support. Find a therapist who specializing in these types of toxic relationship patterns. And cut off all ties with your boyfriend. Do not text him, call him, or Facebook stalk him.

It’s not easy. It feels like you’re coming off from an addiction. But based on my personal experience, you can break this cycle with the right support. You will find a man who treats you well, but only if you stop dating men who behave badly.

Sending hugs and lots of strength your way.





  1. 5 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist (and How to Leave) - - […] A narcissist can’t handle the pressures of your real emotional life. They will probably shut down in order to…

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