Ghosting: Why it Happens and How to Move On
Ghosting is a trend in dating, and it can be very hurtful. In this video and blog, I reveal why people ghost and how you can move on and heal.
What is ghosting?
You’ve been dating someone or you’re in a relationship, and suddenly, without warning, they disappear. It can happen in romantic relationships, friendships and work relationships. And it hurts! In today’s video, I discuss why people ghost, and how you can move on and heal when you’ve been ghosted.
Why do people ghost?
We don’t know exactly why people ghost, as people do it for a variety of reasons. And when you’ve been ghosted, you usually can’t find out why, as the person has vanished. But research points to the probability of the ‘ghoster’ having an avoidant attachment style. What does that mean? In childhood, we form attachments to our caretakers. If a parent or caretaker rejects us or is cold to us, we can grow up to be an avoidant who has difficulty forming intimate attachments to others. We have trust and dependency issues, and ghosting is more comfortable than a direct conversation. The ghoster wants to avoid any drama or discomfort.
If you’ve ever been ghosted, it can hurt a lot. You might ruminate about what you may have done to turn the man off, asking yourself what went wrong. You may blame yourself. You might be asking yourself, “What’s wrong with me? Am I not cool/thin/smart/attractive enough?” You want closure. “Why can’t I call or text and ask why he ghosted me?” Because it will only make you look needy, as the ghoster will probably ignore your calls and texts. And won’t that hurt even more?
What can you do if you’re ghosted?
Avoid any reminders of the ghoster, which includes photos, social media, online dating sites, and in person encounters.
And take comfort in the fact that if he chose ghosting as a way to end things, it’s a flaw in his character. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t communicate when things are uncomfortable?
So, try to move on as quickly as you can. Get back out there and date. You’ll soon see there are plenty of ‘fish in the sea’, and the ghoster will be a distant memory.
Be a woman of value who focuses on living a life of joy and well-being. You’re moving on to find someone who respects you and communicates their feelings, especially when there’s a difficult conversation to be had.
****If you’ve ever been ghosted, download my free guide, Why Men Disappear to help you understand the top ten reasons why men ghost. You’ll also discover the keys to finding the love you deserve.***