Have You Hit the Dating Wall of Doom?

Posted by in understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

Are you immersed in your search for the ‘one’? Dating online? Asking people to fix you up with single friends? Have you hit a wall? Without proper support and good healthy habits, it can feel overwhelming and depressing, this constant feeling of being let down in your love life. Giving up on dating can feel like the right thing to do. This morning, I read a blog post by a single woman in her mid thirties, someone who is struggling with depression over her single status. I thought her words were poignant enough to share here.

“The last few days I have been thinking about the man I recently dated and I have been feeling lonely. Part of me misses him very much and part of me knows that it is not him I miss but the ‘him’ I wish he was, the ‘him’ he would be if he were the person I could spend my life with. He is not that person, sowhat I really miss is that person, wherever he is.

But I feel like my life is like a doughnut. It is rich and good and has many good things, but still there is a hole in the middle where a good man and a good relationship are supposed to be.”

The blogger has preferred to be anonymous, but her words struck a chord in me. Have you ever felt like your life is like that donut, with a hole in the middle, just waiting to be filled by the right guy or girl?

As a dating coach, it is my opinion that one’s life needs to be filled first, without a soul mate. The man of your dreams should be the icing on the cake, someone who enhances the wonderful person that you already are. If you are depressed, despondent, just waiting for your white knight to swoop you off your feet, you will be waiting a long time. And that relationship, if it ever does come, will not be fulfilling in the long run.

So go out today and have some fun. Do things that make you happy, fill you intellectually, spiritually, physically. A happy person makes a great partner.

Please share what you do when/if you’ve hit the dating wall.


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