Hey, guys. Listen up!

Posted by in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 0 comments

This is to all you single men out there. Are you tired of first dates? Unanswered messages sent via dating sites? Phone calls that are not returned? Chances are, it was something you said or did. Of course, it could be the woman. Or it could be you. I have some dating advice for you. Listen carefully. What I say could mean the difference between a lonely Saturday night in front of the TV with a beer bottle as your only companion. Or a great date with a lovely woman. You choose…

5 Tips: What not to do on a first date

1. Don’t say you’ll call when you don’t mean it. Women take your words pretty seriously. Here are some options: don’t say anything at the end of a date. Or say, thanks for a nice time, but I don’t think we’re a good match. But don’t make false promises.

2. Don’t talk about sex. Not on the first phone call. Or the first date. Quality, self-confident, self-aware women don’t want to be objectified. It’s not that women are not interested in sex. Quite the contrary! But take time to get to know us. Love us for our intelligence, warmth, kindness, creativity and wit. When you ease into the physical relationship, most of us respond better.

3. Don’t be negative. I can’t tell you how many men talk about what sucks in their lives. They lost their job. Their children are overwhelming them. They don’t eat well since their wives left or passed away. They’ve lost weight. They’ve gained weight. The have kidney stones, irritable bowel syndrome. We all have ‘stuff’ that frustrates or overwhelms us. We don’t want to know this right up front. Especially not on a first date. There’s time down the road to reveal the negative. Stay positive for now.

4. Don’t discuss your ex. We¬†don’t care how bad your relationship was or still is with your ex. We don’t want to hear about it. Not now. Maybe later. We want to talk about now.

5. Don’t be rude. If you’re unkind to the waiter, doorman, toll collector, or any other person you meet on that first date, we will judge you as an unkind person. We want to be in a relationship with someone who is considerate, compassionate, and warm. Go our of your way to be nice.

Bottom line is that first impressions matter. It’s unfortunate that dating involves so much judgment, but if you want a great relationship with someone special, you need to put your best self forward. Hey, you’re judging us as much as we’re judging you. Maybe we’re doing or saying things that are turning you off. Please share your thoughts. The ladies want to know how to understand you and how to improve their chances of having the love they want.

Let’s start communicating here about what we can do to bring about some loving relationships.

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