How Dating is Like Dieting

Posted by in dating in midlife, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

I went on the Fast Metabolism Diet this week, and it got me thinking about how dating is like dieting. Want to know how? Check out today’s post.

Most of my life, I didn’t even think about weight loss. I was so thin, I was called a skinny string bean (ouch!). That is until I went on my gap year to Israel. The food was awful at my school, my friends and I lived on bread and cake. Surprise, surprise…I came home 7 pounds heavier and felt awful. I think I weighed about 129 pounds on my 5’6″ frame. Far from fat, but that’s not how I saw it.

I was depressed. So, my mom took me to Diet Workshop (like Weight Watchers), and I lasted two meetings. The thought of getting up and announcing my weight loss every week made me want to scream.

Anything was better than that! I eventually discovered how to eat in a healthy way that worked for me. I gave up sugar. I ate whole grains. And I began to exercise. The weight came off because I took positive action. I made some big changes in my lifestyle. I was rewarding my body with delicious nutritious foods that made me healthier and happier, not depriving myself of delicious foods as many diets proscribe.

What does this have to do with dating?

I’ll get to that in a minute…

Over the past ten years my metabolism, which has always been super fast, slowed down to a crawl. I was eating less, exercising more, and I still gained about 12 pounds. Argh!

I wasn’t happy with the extra weight, but until this week, I was kind of stuck.

I finally decided that if I kept doing the same thing with poor results, I needed to switch up what I was doing. Duh, right? Lightbulb moment!

My friend told me about the Fast Metabolism diet. I dislike the word DIET. But, since my friend had great results, I decided to try it. I bought the book on Friday. I learned the science behind the system that speeds up your metabolism. Made logical sense to me. I also like that it’s time-limited: only 28 days out of my life. I could do that. And I was ready to do something drastic in order to get healthier and finally lose the weight I had gained.

On Sunday, I downloaded the app, and I began to change how I eat and exercise.

It’s not easy. I had to give up my morning expresso (HELP!). Dairy. Soy. Wheat. Corn. Some of my favorite foods. I don’t like the food restrictions in the second phase of the week, where I only get to eat protein and veggies. No fats. No fruits.

I have a coffee-withdrawal headache. It’s not fun, but I’m doing it anyway. Because it’s a system that works. And I’m planning to stick it out, no matter how challenging it feels right now.

How Dating is Like Dieting

You probably see where I’m going with this.

Most of you date the same person with a different face over and over again. It always ends in heartbreak, but you date another narcissist, an emotionally unavailable man, or someone who treats you like crap.

Maybe you go online, and you keep meeting scammers, liars, married men. You complain that online dating sucks. And you quit. You blame online dating. you blame men.

What you don’t do is change up how you’re dating and who you’re dating. You’re not always setting standards for how you want men to treat you.

There’s so much you can do to change your online dating results: update your pictures with good photos, pictures that capture your true essence and tell a story about you. Change your profile from boring and generic to interesting and uniquely you.

Maybe you wait for men to message you first, and the only ones who do are the scammers, liars, and losers. Are you passive in any other area of your life? Why here? Or you do message some men, and they don’t write back.  So you draw a few false conclusions…

Your conclusions:

  • Online dating doesn’t work.
  • You’d rather be alone than settle.
  • You get another cat or two or three, because cats will love you unconditionally.
  • You stop dating and hope that if it’s meant to be, the right man will find you. Or God will help. 

Let me ask you something. If you gained 20 pounds, would you believe that if you were meant to lose weight, it would just happen? That God would help you, even if you were eating chocolate and Ben and Jerry’s a few times a week?

If you wanted to get into good shape (and you didn’t exercise) would you become fit? I mean, you joined a gym. So what if you only made it there five times last year.

Sounds insane, right? But, you use this logic for dating. You post a profile online and nothing happens. You blame the site. But, you don’t see how you can change up how you’re approaching online dating.

I’m saying this because I care about you. Sometimes we need a little kick in the pants, some tough love.

What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

If you want a beautiful relationship with a quality man, you need to do something different! Discover your part in what’s keeping you single.

Sure, there are men out there who are a-holes. NEWS FLASH: Don’t date those guys!

If you want to improve your dating results and find the quality man you deserve, it’s time to make some changes.

Hey, if I can eat three egg whites and kale for breakfast this morning and a can of tuna (no mayo, kinda icky) for a snack this afternoon—and give up my beloved expresso for a month—you can change up how you’re approaching dating, can’t you?

Believe me, the results are worth the effort.

Imagine you’re in the arms of a man who gets you. A man who cherishes you, has your back, and makes you laugh. Is that worth changing up the way you are dating and approaching your love life?

If you’re serious about making those changes and ready to invest in your love life, ready to say HELL YES to finding the epic love you deserve, let’s talk. I have a highly effective coaching program that will transform your love life. Check out the details here.

Fill out an application by clicking here. I’ll learn a little more about you, and if I think we’d be a good fit for coaching, I’ll get back to you to set up a time that works for us both.

Because I want you to go on Your Last First Date.

Who’s with me?

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