How Good Are You at Waiting for Love (or anything else for that matter)?

Posted by in dating after divorce, love after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

I am in recovery. No, I’m not an alcoholic. I had minor surgery five days ago and I’m going stir crazy. I thought I’d snap right back to myself within a few days, but on day five, I am still weak and dizzy from the blood loss, anesthesia and trauma to my body. I am home-bound. I have a hard time focusing on anything but reality TV, and trust me when I say that if I never see another Kardashian, Bachelor, Bachelorette, or Housewife again, I’d be a happy girl!

I have discovered that I am not good at doing nothing. In fact, I suck at doing nothing. I am also not so good at waiting. I hate having low energy. I dislike depending on other people to take care of me.

But all this waiting and resting has also been enlightening.

I can’t help looking for the hidden meaning in everything, so bear with me as I dissect the lessons learned from being dizzy and waiting to get better.

I have learned that it’s important to ask for help. People generally enjoy contributing to other peoples’ lives. If you don’t specify what you need, it’s hard to get proper assistance. I love helping others when they’re in need, so I try and remember that it’s actually a gift if you allow others to help you.

I have had some amazing angels swoop down to bring food, flowers, balloons, and treats. I have had phone calls from many wonderful people, family and friends. My kids have really stepped it up!

I am a little embarrassed to admit this, but full disclosure here… I also caught myself feeling a little self-pity. “Why didn’t that friend call me? I emailed her that I was recovering from surgery and she never wrote back. And why didn’t he call to ask me how I was feeling? He’s obviously a self-centered jerk!”

Luckily, I didn’t stay in that place of self-pity for very long. I am grateful for the inner work I’ve done, and for my ability to suspend judgment and anger.

Who knows what’s going on for other people? One friend who was supposed to stop by on Friday ended up having a day from hell. She came last night instead, bearing coconut sorbet and great conversation to cheer me up.

How does all of this relate to dating?

I’m glad you asked! After all, pretty much everything in my world is seen through the lens of dating and relationships.

Finding the right match is all about patience. There are times when waiting seems endless. Like my recovery from surgery, it can feel like forever, an endless wait.

But of course it’s not endless. It just requires patience and a good attitude. 

It also helps to ask for what you need. 

When I was feeling low during my recovery, I asked for help. In dating, you can ask your friends for help, like asking for a setup with someone who is a good match for you. Be proactive. Asking for what you need is empowering. 

My friend just took me to the hospital for more blood work to find out why I’m so weak. My son is making dinner for me. I am surrounded by loving wonderful family and friends. And I asked for their help…

With a little patience, assertiveness, a good attitude and positive action, you will find your true match.

Now, hurry up and wait!







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