How Good Is the Fit?

Posted by in single women over 40 | 0 comments

A few weeks ago, I bought a pair of lime green sandals online. Two of my friends had raved about these sandals, ecstatic about their versatility ~ they can take you from a power walk to a walk in the lake, and they feel good when you stand on your feet all day like I do. Well, when I unwrapped my sandals and put them on, expecting rapture, I found instead an almost-but-not-quite comfortable pair of sandals. These were not the blissful shoes I had anticipated.

I had ordered my exact size, but they were a little big. I had to add extra velcro in order for the top straps to close around my foot. That seemed to do the trick.

A few hours later, the top strap rubbed at my ankle due to my high instep. But, I wanted them to work so badly, I wore my lime green sandals for a few hours each day to break them in. My friends had raved about these magical comfortable sandals. It was only a matter of time, I thought, before I too, would experience sandal Nirvana.

I was hopeful as my shoes began to wear in a bit, and they were almost great. But not quite. I still had some sore spots on my feet where the shoes rubbed. “It’s only a matter of time”, I thought. Soon my sandals will be so amazing, I’ll be able to wear them on my morning walk up the mountain. I’ll be able to stand on my feet for 8 hours, and my back won’t hurt at all. Yep, I’m almost there…

Today, reality set in. These sandals were not getting better, they were getting worse. The tops were getting looser, and my foot was sliding around.

And suddenly I realized that you can’t force something to be what it’s not. Kinda like in a relationship.

You have probably dated people who were like these sandals. They fit pretty well. They have many of the personality traits that you love. They are bright, fun, and you share many common goals and dreams. But something big is missing. Maybe you want children and he doesn’t. Perhaps you have religious differences. Or the physical attraction isn’t there.

Whatever it is, time will pass and the fit doesn’t get better. It gets worse.

You can’t force the fit to improve. The foundation is missing. It only takes a few core things to make a long-term relationship work. You need to identify those things and stay true to what fits for you.

Luckily, my sandals came with an amazing return policy. They are fully refundable anytime if you wear them out or the style changes.

Wouldn’t it be great if it was that easy to trade in on a relationship that doesn’t work or has worn out? But of course you’re dealing with a fellow human being and feelings can get hurt.

So, be careful and observe the ‘fit’ of your next relationship from the beginning. Make sure the core foundation is there before you start adjusting the ‘straps’ and adding ‘velcro’ to tighten the fit. The longer you fiddle with the fit when the size is wrong, the less likely you’ll find a truly good fit.

Has this happened to you? I’d love to hear your experience with an ‘almost fitting’ relationship.

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