How Heartbreak and Failure Lead to Your Best Relationship

Posted by in breaking up with grace, dating after divorce, dating in midlife, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

failureFailure leads to your best relationship. Learn more here…

We live in a society where many of us feel that failure and success are opposites. The truth is that failure is inevitable and a necessary step on the path to success in business, sports, and relationships. 

Failure, struggle, and heartbreak are not only an inevitable part of life, they are a necessary step on the path to success. My radio guest, Jim Harshaw, has learned many life lessons on the wrestling mat. Having been a Division I All American who won three ACC Championships for the University of Virginia, trained at the Olympic Training Center and competed for Team USA, he has experienced significant triumph and devastating defeat. He relates those powerful lessons of failure, struggle and setback to empower his audiences to overcome their own challenges.

Jim is a speaker, coach and host of the Wrestling with Success podcast.

Jim joined me on Last First Date Radio to talk about how failure leads to your best relationship. Highlights of the show below.

How Heartbreak and Failure Lead to Your Best Relationship

Tell us why you speak about failure.

A lot of my life as an athlete felt like failure. I’ve been out of sports for almost two decades now, and I’ve gained perspective. [About five years ago,] I had a failed business, my finances were a wreck, and my relationship with my wife was falling apart. I looked back at my past success [and failures as an athlete], and learned how to apply those lessons to my current situation.

So many of us see people who are successful and think, “It must be so easy for them”. The most successful people have been through failure and struggle. We don’t see that part. They’ve gotten up one more time every time.

How do we keep trying, even though we fail?

You have to have a big WHY and live for that why.

When I hit that point five years ago when everything felt like it was falling apart, I thought about my past success as an athlete. How do I learn from that?

a) When I was successful as an athlete, I had something that was very important to me and kept getting up. 

b) I defined what was important to me now. Faith, family, fit, and fun. Define what’s important to you. What’s your why? Don’t quit because it’s hard. Quit because it doesn’t align with your values.

Tell us about your TEDx Talk, ‘Why I Teach My Children to Fail’.

The message is meant for everyone. Everyone struggles with failure. We can learn the value of failure. There’s so much pain out in the world because of failure and setback and struggle. I had amazing coaches who helped me through failure. I kept failing, wondering, “Why can’t I do this?” 

The man who helped me overcome my crisis is a sports psychologist who coached me. I learned a little more about myself. I also started a mastermind group, some folks in the community who I related to well. We discuss weaknesses and strengths. 

Here’s my four-step Blueprint for Success:

  1. I recognized my values.
  2. I created goals that aligned with my new values as a father, husband, etc.
  3. I created an environment where I could achieve those goals. 
  4. I implemented a plan for following through.

My relationship with my wife and children and finances are all on the right track now.

We’ve all struggled with this feeling of, “I guess this is just not meant to be.”

This is part of the path, a stepping stone to success. It’s all about changing your mindset and attitude. “If your mind is a super computer, your self-talk is the program that’s running it.” It’s the negative stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. You’ll convince yourself that [those stories are] true. If I asked you three reasons why you’re capable, you could come up with them. Change your negative stories to positive ones to overcome your feelings of self-doubt.

Jim Harshaw is inspirational, and his message is relevant to all of us. Turn your failure into success by following his blueprint. Download your own copy here.


Listen to the episode here.

Or on iTunes here. Subscribe on iTunes so you never miss an episode.







Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

AlphaOmega Captcha Classica  –  Enter Security Code

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.