How the Heck Do I Date After 50?

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

date after 50Joan Price calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. She has been called other things, like “senior sexpert” and “wrinkly sex kitten”.  Joan is the author of the spicy memoir, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty; and the award-winning self-help guide, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Joan edited the steamy anthology, Ageless Erotica. Her blog about sex and aging, NakedAtOurAge.com, receives worldwide recognition. Joan is a widow and in the dating world at age 70. She teaches a popular workshop, “How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?” Following are excerpts from my interview with Joan Price on Last First Date Radio on how to date after 50. 

 

 

Why is dating so difficult after age 50?

For women who are looking to date men, there are fewer of them than there are of us! Men are looking for the attractive woman. We have to get past that in our minds. We need to celebrate the age we are and the wisdom that comes with that. We need to present that we are really happy in our skin. We want to attract the good men who also realize that aging is a gift. They are authentic in who they are, too.

How can women appreciate their own value?

Look in the mirror and say va va voom! Stop saying, “if only i didn’t have this wrinkle, this big butt”. We need to have a full life on our own in order to have a great relationship with someone else.

How do we find other single seniors?

I love to dance and teach line-dancing. I also love books. It’s a solitary activity, so I go to bookstores for author events. Sometimes, I wish we had a “single and available” button! The older we get, the more difficult it becomes to meet people, because you know the qualities of the people you want to meet. Think to yourself, what would he be doing this weekend? if you’re in a small town, you pretty much know everyone. That’s why i like online dating.

The other thing that’s so important is to figure out the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner. This eliminates a lot of people you’d screen out. Keep it positive. We can’t be shy in reaching out to men.

What are the sex rules in dating after 50?

You need to use barrier protection with every person. We don’t always realize we’re at risk or that we’re carrying an STD and aren’t aware of it. Use condoms and dental dams for oral sex. We need to take responsibility for our own sexual health and all around health. {If you had STD testing}, your papers will tell you where you were six months ago, not now. Every time you have unprotected sex with one man, you’re having unprotected sex with all his former partners. For now, just use protection. The time to ask about testing is after you’ve been with someone exclusively for over 6 months. Until then, what’s the point when it’s not going to give you current information?

The other part of that is that the person you’re contemplating having sex with is probably not the ultimate person you’re going to end up with. Talk about your expectations. Get to know someone slowly.

What are some of the biggest mistakes that men and women make in their online profiles?

When you’re not in a relationship, continue or start having sex with yourself. It’s important for your sexual and medical health. Have regular orgasms at least once a week. It will increase blood flow to your genitals so they’re able to accept sex when you’re ready.

Many people don’t think about, so you should put it on your to do list.

I review sex toys on my blog. A vibrator has to go long enough without losing its charge or catching on fire. It has to be strong enough. The stronger the vibrator, the better it works. It’s important that it’s ergonomic so it doesn’t hurt your arthritic wrist. We need plenty of lube because we’re not lubricating on our own. On my site, there’s also a review for men. There’s information about orgasms without erections.

You have a favorite quote from Dan Savage that you use in your workshop. What is it, and why is it your favorite?

A lot of people are devastated when a relationship doesn’t work out. His/her profile looked great online, and then it doesn’t work out. Dan savage said, “every relationship you are in will fail, until one doesn’t”.

If we can just absorb that, you’re closer to the one that does work out. It’s an opportunity to practice dating so we can make this a give and take conversation.

To listen to the rest of this exciting and thought-provoking interview, click here.

Don’t you want to go on your LAST FIRST DATE?

 

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