How to Achieve Extraordinary Love
My podcast guests, Paige and Don Marrs, have achieved extraordinary love in their own lives and in the lives of their clients.
Happily married for over 30 years, Paige and Don Marrs have achieved extraordinary love. They’ve worked together since the day they joined their lives. They have co-authored two how-to memoirs, both of which teach through story: Grabbing Lightning: The Messy Quest for an Extraordinary Love, and Executive in Passage: When Life Lets You Know It’s Time to Change, Let that Knowing Lead You. For the past decade they’ve offered their relationship program, The Love Conversation®, which teaches core principles and methods for making the quest for love less messy and has helped countless individuals create extraordinary love in their most cherished relationships.
Check out highlights of our podcast interview on Last First Date Radio, EP 384: How to Create Extraordinary Love and Cherished Relationships.
How to Achieve Extraordinary Love
Tell us how you met and how you created extraordinary love.
Don: I was going through a difficult time in my career. I felt I had come to the end of the road. I closed my eyes, and I felt myself hurtling down a dark channel. I thought I was going to die, and suddenly, I was surrounded by love. I got vignettes about how many times I avoided love. The thing that keeps us from love is fear. I started a company based on love. I met Paige because she was a client.
Paige: I hired him. About 6 months later, we joined our lives. The quest to love is messy.
How do you help clients find the love that already exists?
Paige: We help clients see that love is their birthright. It’s the human manifestation of something larger. They learn to open to it and become aware of it. A large part of the work is what blocks our experience with love.
Don: Love is different than we think it is. We think it’s a dog, house, we love our husband/wife, and we go on vacation.
When we make love the focus, amazing things happen. It’s a powerful energy that grows when you work out problems.
Describe Extraordinary Love.
Paige: One of the characteristics is we are both 150% committed to the fulfillment of the other person. We often hear clients speak of extraordinary love as the honeymoon stage or the fairy tale. There’s a part of the honeymoon phase that’s the gift of love. It’s a low bar to get back to that. It’s just a taste of extraordinary love. Love of one another and love of self grows and deepens and expands with time.
One of the core skills is the ability to face the normal things that come up and deal with them in a way that helps you become more intimate.
Don: We moved in together after 6 months, and we were in rapture. Within a few weeks, she said something that got me. I was a highly defensive man, and what she said sounded like criticism, and I spoke to her sharply. She crumbled, and I stormed out of the house. It reminded me of times in a marriage that had ended for me. The one who held the silence the longest won. I was in such pain, and Paige was different.
She said, “I’m sorry for my part.” I said, “I’m sorry for my part.” We embraced, and we learned we needed to get rid of the things that separate us and flood us. Keep restoring the connection.
Paige: We were committed to living our lives from love instead of fear. That’s where our strength came from. It took us about five years to work through the rough stuff.
One of the things that developed in our relationship is I now know I’m lovable for who I am. I’m trustable for who I am. I am enough. Often when we jab at each other, it comes from a fear of not being lovable or enough.
How does one go about finding extraordinary love?
Don: By being in your heart and trusting there is such a thing as love, you will find it. Someone who’s also looking will recognize you as you have that wonderful gift of generosity and kindness. You allow it to grow, and you grow it for each other.
Paige: After we were together a short time, girlfriends asked, “How did you find this?” When you watch figure skating on ice and see how fluid and graceful it is, they want relationships like that. Figure skaters have worked their butts off to be that fluid! There’s an enormous amount of inner work before you meet the person and when you’re together. Are you generous even when you don’t feel like it? Are you able to act out of love and not smallness?
Don: It’s work, but it’s love work. The richness and bounty are incredible.
Paige: We are deeply engaged and active in our relationship.
Connect With Paige and Don
Check out Paige and Don’s new book Grabbing Lightning: The Messy Quest for an Extraordinary Love available on Amazon (https://amzn.to/35SflZQ) and other online booksellers.
Facebook page: The love conversation
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