How to Communicate Clearly With Your Date

Posted by in dating after divorce, online dating after 40, single women over 40 | 0 comments

I hate emoticons! Okay, hate may be a strong word, but putting a smiley face after a hurtful statement does NOT make it less hurtful. It makes it confusing. It makes it infuriating. It makes for assumptions. It is certainly NOT a clear way to communicate with your date. Emoticons are the new wimpy way to hide behind your true feelings. When you communicate by text or email using emoticons and abbreviations, such as LOL, I feel you are hiding from what you really want to say. Why can’t people just say what they mean?

Communicate Clearly With Your Date

Emoticon vs. Clear Communication

Emoticon: I’ve been waiting for you for 20 minutes LOL. Where are you? : )

Translation: I’m pissed at you for making me wait 20 minutes. Where the hell are you? And why haven’t you been in touch with me?

Clear communication: I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes. Are you okay? How far away are you?

Translation: It’s clear that you are waiting. You are concerned for the welfare of the other person. You want the facts: how far away is he? When can you expect him? There is a time and place to discuss your feelings about being kept waiting. Do it in person, not through a text.

It’s important to be clear when conveying a potentially positive message, too.

Emoticon: Hey, I think you’re hot ; )

Translation: Does he think you’re hot? Not sure. Maybe he thinks you’re hot, but he’s afraid to tell you outright, because you might not think he’s hot. When you use an emoticon for fear of rejection, you confuse the other person. Say what you mean. And, by the way, calling someone hot for the first time in a text is probably not the best way to win her heart.

Clear communication: I am really attracted to you. I think you’re beautiful. I love your eyes, your hair, your body. I am attracted to your mind.

Translation: Don’t need one. It’s pretty clear that he’s into you!

Clear communication is one of the cornerstones of a good relationship. Communicate clearly with your date, and you’ll have a much better relationship. : )  ; >) JK LOL






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