How to Cope With Life’s Challenges When Dating

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, single women over 40 | 0 comments

life's challengesI don’t usually talk about my life’s challenges. But it’s important to be vulnerable and talk about our struggles and how we cope with them. 

I’m pulling back the curtain today, letting you in on some of my life’s challenges these past few weeks. Not to complain, but to let you know I’m human, just like you. And most importantly, I want to share how I cope when life throws a curveball…or two. Because it can be hard to balance work, family, dating, AND crisis. 

How to Cope With Life’s Challenges When Dating

Challenge #1

About ten days ago, my mom thought she was having a heart attack. I stayed with her in the ER until almost 3 AM. Her heart was fine, but we still didn’t know what was causing the severe chest pain. I brought her home to sleep at my house that night. I got three hours of sleep, up for an early morning client call. The show must go on (yawn).

The next day, we learned the cause of the pain. Her gall bladder was infected, and she needed to be rushed to the hospital.

The next day, she had surgery, and has been recuperating at my house since then.

It’s my pleasure to be able to care for her. But, it means my life is upside down. I’ve had a lot more responsibility, like cooking special foods for her, and attending to her needs throughout the day, along with my coaching schedule, my radio show, etc.

Having my mom here also means that I’ve been working in the kitchen, as she’s staying in my office. I have no privacy for coaching calls, so I’ve been hiding out in my bedroom. Let’s just say, life has been a bit hectic here.

[For another perspective on what to do when you’re in crisis, read this] 

Challenge #2

On Tuesday night, I participated in the 2nd level of the International Toastmasters Speech Contest. The winner of this contest goes on to participate in level 3, then level 4, then on to the International Toastmasters Conference in Washington, DC to compete for best speaker in the world!

As you can see, the stakes are high.

Last year, I made it to level 4. This year, I came in second place at level 2, so I won’t be continuing in the competition. I worked so hard on my speech, and I honestly felt I presented a more effective, more dynamic speech than the guy who won. I was upset, but I had no control over the outcome, and I had to let it go.

Lessons Learned Through Life’s Challenges

life's challengesWhenever I have challenges in life, I process them by looking for the lessons I can learn.

With my mom, the silver lining is that I am grateful that I was able to take care of her. She cared for me when I was younger, and it’s the least I can do to give back. I feel good about that. And she appreciates the loving care. It has helped her heal so much faster.

With the speech contest, I now know what I can do to make my next speech even better. That is, after blaming the judges for having me lose by only two points!! Reflection is key, and there is always room for improvement. And now that I don’t have to compete in the next level, I can focus my attention on planning my next communications course launch, which will be in April.

There’s always a hidden lesson or two in life’s challenges. Look for them, and you’ll find them.

I even found time to check my online dating profiles and connected with a new man. Dating doesn’t have to stop completely when things get tough. Take time to process, and then get right back online for twenty minutes a day. Keep writing to potential matches. Don’t lose momentum, no matter how many curveballs life throws at you!

How do you bounce back after a crisis or challenge? Please comment below and let me know.

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