How to Fight Fairly in Relationships
Discover the keys to fight fairly in relationships. If you’re afraid of conflict, you must watch this video!
Do you know how to fight fairly? Most of us grow up in homes where conflict was either avoided altogether, which is stonewalling, or there was defensiveness, criticism, or contempt. Arguments don’t have to be scary or avoided. They can actually bring us closer to our partner so we can share greater intimacy.
In this Instagram Live video, I spoke with Mary Jo Rapini about how to fight fairly.
How to Argue Effectively
Learn how to have an argument or manage conflict in a way that brings you closer to your partner, so you’re able to share greater intimacy.
Most relationships fail, because the couple avoids conflict or has no idea how to argue effectively.
Here’s some of what we covered in the video:
- Center yourself first. Identify what’s going on for you. How do you feel? What need of yours wasn’t met.
- Give yourself empathy. You’re upset. It’s okay to be upset. Give yourself permission to feel.
- Take time to process. If you’re in a highly reactive state, you will not operate from your best most rational self when you have the ‘talk’. Figure out what you need to get calmer before addressing the issues.
- Make sure it’s a good time to talk. Check in. If it’s not a good time for them, ask when will be a better time.
- Use “I” statements. When this happened, I felt…. No judgments, no ‘you always or you never’ statements. Just speak for yourself.
- Listen to his or her response with curiosity. Make believe your partner is an alien, and you’re trying to learn everything you can about the planet he or she comes from!
- Brainstorm for a solution that works for both of you.
- End with appreciation.
Did this video help shed light on how to fight more fairly? Please share your takeaways below.
Follow Mary Jo on Instagram @maryjorapini
Follow me on Instagram @lastfirstdate