How to Find Your Voice and Speak Up
My radio guest, Tammy Lee Schumacher’s marriage fell apart, because she didn’t know how to take care of her needs and speak up. In this episode, learn how to find your voice and save your relationships.
My radio guest, Tammy Lee Schumacher, was a teenage mother and bride. She had five children and 11 grandchildren, and her life looked rosy from the outside. But no one could guess that her 37-year marriage was on the verge of destruction. She triumphed over countless challenges from depression to lack of self-esteem, and pulled herself out of a gray cloud –physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to become who she is today. She separated and reconnected with her husband since 2014. Schumacher is an optimist, author, healer, speaker, mentor, teacher and workshop facilitator inspiring and empowering women.
Show notes below for episode #299: How to Find Your Voice and Speak Up to Save Your Relationships.
How to Find Your Voice and Speak Up
Tell us a little about how you became who you are today.
I got pregnant in high school, and went from my father’s home to my husband’s home at age 15. I lost myself. My senior English teacher told me, “No matter what you do, don’t put your writing on the back burner.” I did. I put me on the back burner. All the women in my life didn’t speak up for themselves. After many years, I realized if I wasn’t speaking up, what was I teaching my children?
When I didn’t speak up and quieted my voice to make others happy, I became depressed.
How did you find your voice again?
I started to go to counseling. 30 years ago, therapy was seen as a black cloud. But, I knew I had to it, because I felt I was going crazy. It took many years to heal.
I eventually separated from my husband and filed for divorce. I didn’t realize that leaving my husband would be the greatest gift I could give my husband and my kids.
Working with relationship mentors helped us start over.
I encourage women to think about what they’re creating in life. Are you creating a non-existent future based in fear, or a life based in love? By changing our words and using a higher frequency of words, we create a better future. Having a mentor or coach is so vital.
What communication tips can you share to help women who want to find their voice and make their relationship better?
Start with communication with yourself. Know what you want, and do it! Don’t say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’. When you say, ‘No’, add a thank you. “Thank you, and no.”
When you do something for someone else or for yourself, make sure there’s no agenda. When you give a gift and expect a thank you, it’s not true giving.
Check in with your tone of voice. There is so much sarcasm in how people talk, and deep down there is fear and hurt beneath the surface. If someone says something that stings and triggers, ask, “Would you like a do-over on that?” It allows them to speak in a different way with a different tone.
If anything is triggering you, it’s hurting your soul. Your eyes dim. When we stop and take 100% responsibility and give others permission to call us on our stuff, it changes our lives for the better.
What’s one message you’d like to leave for our audience?
Step 1: Know thyself. What is it that you yearn for? What is it that you desire? If you don’t know what that is, take the 5 Love Languages assessment.
Step 2: To thine own self be true. [Stay true to your needs and wants first. That’s the secret to a joyous life and happy relationships.]
Tammy’s free gift: Are you ready to Transform Into JOY? Get instant access to her inspirational training videos on Simple Steps to Gain Clarity, Feel Empowered, Create Abundance and more by clicking here.
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And finally, if you have trouble speaking up, I offer a SPEAK UP session to help you boldly say what you mean without being mean. Learn more here.