How to Fix Your Online Dating Profile Mistakes

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

online dating

I interviewed Melani Robinson on Last First Date Radio, where she gave her best tips on improving your online dating success.

Melani Robinson is an award-winning blogger, writer and online dating expert. She was named one of the “Ten Best Online Dating Experts” by datingadvice.com and is described as follows: “Melani Robinson is as real as it gets. Robinson calls it like she sees it—the good, the bad, the painful and disappointing. Oh, and she’s not afraid of a few four-letter words.”

Melani has appeared on The Steve Harvey Show, daytime talkshow Katie, and writes regularly for The Huffington Post. She recently completed a memoir, “One Year of Online Dating at Fifty”. I interviewed Melani on Last First Date Radio, where she gave her best tips on improving your online dating success.  Show notes and highlights below…

How to Fix Your Online Dating Profile Mistakes

What did you do to move forward and love again after experiencing the tragic loss of your husband?

I was 45, and my husband was the love of my life. It was love at first sight. After he died, it was very difficult. The grieving process was excruciating. But, once I had been apart from him as long as we had been together, I decided I had two choices; live in the past, or move forward with my life.

The logical choice was to try online dating, because I knew no one in NYC. I was having crazy experiences, and created the blog to chronicle my experiences online. 

What tips do you have for online dating success?

The most important thing is quality photos. Three would be great. Some professional shots are great, a candid, a full body shot. Not photoshopped. Be honest about who you are. Don’t post silly photos; photos with dogs, children, silly hats. Take it seriously. Would you put that photo in a resume?

In your profile, do you best not to overshare. The dating process is about getting to know someone over several dates. Don’t talk about custody battles, bad divorces, etc.

Keep it short, to the point, upbeat, positive, and interesting enough that will hold someone’s interest. Brag about yourself. You’re selling yourself. If you can’t do it, ask a friend for 5 things about yourself that are unique and special. Consult with a professional if you can’t do it yourself.

Check your grammatical errors. If you’re unsure, have someone who is great at proofreading take a look at it. 

Take a chance every once in a while on someone who’s not your ‘type’. 

Can you share a dating disaster?

I went on over 150 dates in a year, so I went on many where I didn’t recognize the person because their photos were so old. I was on a date with a guy who liked to talk about having sex on the campaign trail with young interns. I had another date where the guy did a stunt roll out of the cab so he could get out of paying for the cab!

I set out to only go out with people that I had the intention to continue dating. But these things just happened. The dates made for great writing material. I had to take a year off to recover after that year!

I did meet many wonderful men. I was seeking the instant chemistry I had with my late husband. Sometimes it takes two or three dates to develop the chemistry we’re all seeking. 

I would pair the guys I met with friends of mine who were single. One friend clicked and they dated for quite awhile. 

And if you’re burned out, take a break. Every bad date is one step closer to the good date and person you’re hoping to meet. 

One of the most painful experiences was a while ago when I thought I was falling in love. He ended it abruptly, and was going through a divorce at the time. Once I licked my wounds, I said I’d never date again. Then I realized that this experience taught me that I was capable of loving again. 

To listen to the episode, please click here.

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