How to Fix Your Relationship (When You’re the Only One Doing The Work)
My podcast guest, Laura Doyle, teaches you how to fix your relationship, even if you’re the only one doing the work.
Want great tips on how to fix your relationship? Laura Doyle is the founder of the international relationship coach training school, Laura Doyle Connect, the star of Empowered Wives on Amazon Prime, the Creator of The Ridiculously Happy Wife program, and the host of The Empowered Wife Podcast. She has helped over 15,000 women fix their relationships–even the hopeless ones–without their husband’s effort.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
- Why Laura, who helped over 15,000 women fix their relationships, almost got divorced
- Why so many women struggle with their men
- The number one thing to let go of if you want a healthy relationship
- The six intimacy skills
How to Fix Your Relationship
You’ve helped over 15,000 women fix their relationships. But you almost got divorced yourself. What happened?
I was the perfect wife…until I got married. I started telling my husband how to be more romantic, tidier, and he didn’t want to listen. I thought if he was fixed, I’d be happy. The only options I saw were divorce or be unhappy.
I asked women who were in successful marriages for their secrets. One said, “I tried to never criticize my husband”. I said, do you have anything else? I finally took all their advice and tried it. It was working! Once I implemented it in my own marriage, I accidentally created the six intimacy skills. I’m married thirty one years to the man of my dreams.
Why do so many women try to fix and control their men?
I had no idea I was controlling. I learned it was because of fear vs faith. I felt I was the only one who could figure everything out, and I didn’t trust my husband to do things on his own.
How did you begin to go from martyr to having a balanced relationship with your husband?
I grew up with a martyr for a mother. That was my role model. I used to complain to my husband and think he’d get up and do what I wanted. Before we got married, my soon-to-be husband took us on a romantic getaway to Hawaii. Instead of saying I wanted to go to the beach instead, I asked him what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to go to a volcano. On the way to the volcano, I started to fume. He saw a volcano alright! Once I expressed what I really wanted, I saw that he wanted to make me happy. And he took me to the beach.
What are the six intimacy skills?
- The Spouse Fulfilling Prophecy: This is what I call the ‘change your husband/boyfriend/date’ skill. Look at what you believe about your guy. Mine was: he doesn’t make enough money. I kept nagging him about money, and then he lost his job! My prophecy came true. What to do? Change it up. Instead of saying ‘you don’t make enough money’. I said, ‘you’re such a good provider’ and called him Mr. Money Bags. He started a successful business and ran it for twenty years. I also used cheat phrases, like: ‘I apologize for being disrespectful for _______ .’ Another is: ‘whatever YOU think’.
- Practice the art of receiving graciously. Feminine gift of receptivity. Learn to receive his compliments. Say thank you.
- Make yourself happy. When I first started this work, I kept hearing I had to love myself. I didn’t know what that was. What works for me is doing three things a day that bring me joy. Make a list and pick three a day.
- Relinquish inappropriate control. Get your self care on board first, and then you’ll be able to relinquish control.
*Download Laura’s free gift below to get the other two intimacy skills and more.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to fix their relationship?
I’ve been practicing these skills for twenty years, and I still see things I need to work on. The main thing I’m so grateful for is that it’s been an incredible journey of self-development. I love my life more. I feel more confident. I want every woman to know about these skills that no one ever taught me. I’m on a mission to end world divorce!
Watch the video here:
Get Laura’s FREE gift: The Adored Wife Roadmap, which includes the six intimacy skills here: lauradoyle.org
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