How to Get Closure in a Relationship
Closure is knowing why a romantic relationship has ended so you can process it, and no longer feel any emotional attachment or pain. That’s how you can move on to create a healthier relationship in the future. We don’t always get closure, though. In this video, you’ll learn how to get closure, even when an ex isn’t giving it to you.
What is a lack of closure in a relationship?
When a relationship peters out or ends abruptly with no explanation from your partner, you don’t get closure.
Why do we need closure?
It feels awful when you’re rejected in any way without an explanation. We understand the world through our stories, connecting past, present, and future. Without closure, we can’t connect the dots, and we’re left making up stories about what we could have said or done to make things right. This can be crazy making! We lose our trust in the decisions we make about romantic partners, and many people shut down their hearts. It no longer feels safe to date.
First, make sure you’re giving closure to your romantic partners. Try and be as clear and kind as possible as to why the relationship didn’t work, and with them well.
How to give yourself closure in a relationship
If your partner doesn’t give you closure, ask yourself whether the type of man you imagined him to be would treat you unkindly. Ask yourself if the future you imagined with this man included a lack of clear and kind communication. If your answer is no, and I hope it is, you can begin to see that the you may have imagined this man to be someone he’s not. Forgive yourself for trusting someone who has hurt you.
For your own closure, you may want to write him a letter expressing how hurt you were by his actions. Thank him for the good in the relationship, and thank him for helping you learn what to pay attention to next time you date. Do not send it. This is for you to articulate what you feel, and what you’ve learned from him so you can put this relationship to rest.
Remind yourself that sometimes things don’t out, and there is nothing you or your partner could have done differently. Sometimes, feeling fade. It may not feel fair, and it may hurt, but you are okay.
When you give yourself closure, you will build a new story for yourself, one where you know that this man was your teacher, an important step closer a relationship towards your right partner.
Watch the video