How to Get Your Dating Groove Back
Want to get your dating groove back after loss, divorce, or heartbreak? Listen to this episode to find out how!
Rosemary Mupambwa is an author, speaker, relationship coach and retreat leader. She’s also a widow who got tired of crying herself to sleep, due to loneliness. Now she’s on a mission to help women heal from their grief and trauma from widowhood, divorce and heartbreak. She helps them get back into the dating scene with a bang, date smart and find love again.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
- Why Rosemary wrote her book
- What inspired her to become a relationship coach
- How she got her dating groove back after losing her husband 20 years ago
- The first step in healing after loss or trauma
- The importance of forgiveness in order to find love again
How to Get Your Dating Groove Back
Why did you write your book, “Exhume Or Heal, A Widow’s Memoir, Getting Her Groove Back”?
After I lost my husband I emigrated to Canada from Africa. Three years before my husband passed away, my dad passed away. I continued to lose more family members, including my youngest brother who had a heart attack. The loss was turning into baggage. The grief was affecting my dating life and my life with my children.
I went to a retreat, and they put us into groups. In the widow and divorced group, I realized I had a problem I need to deal with. I had two seriously broken relationships, and they broke my heart. I didn’t want to love again. I realized the energy I was putting out into the world was attracting these men to me. A woman can’t change a man. And until you realize you have a wound that needs to be healed, you’ll continue to cover it up.
What did you do to heal and get your dating groove back?
I wrote the book. I shared my journey and the healing therapies I learned. I also shared how to date smart and the types of men you’re going to meet.
What are some of the healing therapies you share in the book?
The first exercise I help clients with is to look at your life from inside out. What has changed in your life now that you’re single? How has that affected you? Give yourself time to grieve the relationship that’s no longer there. I call it expressive therapy, to get the pain out instead of keeping it in. You need to get the ‘gunk’ out.
Write in a journal, and see where you need to start healing.
It’s also important to look at the relationships you had. Who are your friends now? Stop blaming others and seeking revenge.
Why do you think it’s important for widows, divorcees, and the heartbroken to heal and forgive?
I see forgiveness as taking my power back. I had held onto so much unforgiveness, which caused so much physical and emotional pain. My blood pressure was skyrocketing. I wanted revenge so badly. I came to the conclusion, if I don’t forgive, it would kill me, not them. It gives you so much peace.
What led to you become a relationship coach?
After my own personal development after my failed relationships, I did a lot of research into why I was attracting emotionally unavailable men. I helped myself first, and then I helped other women.
What are your final words of advice for a woman who wants to go on her last first date?
It’s never too late to fall in love. Love is out there for us women to enjoy. We are meant to have someone with us. It’s up to you to do it the right way. Get educated about love.
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Connect with Rosemary and buy her book here.
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