How to Have the Conversations You’re Avoiding

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Conversations You're Avoiding

Are there conversations you’re avoiding? My podcast guest, Chris Hughes, shares excellent tips for speaking up in any difficult situation.

Are there any conversations you’re avoiding? My podcast guest, Chris Hughes, shared wonderful tips about how to speak up on tough issues. He is a facilitator of consciousness and an arts and antiques curator. He earned his degree in Opera and Song at the University of Western Ontario, later working in professional opera, singing telegrams, voiceovers for video games, cartoons and elevators. Chris moved to Australia to complete a master’s in integrated Marketing and Communications at QUT. He is Managing Director and curator at the Antique Guild in Brisbane and Vice President of Australian Antique an Art Dealers Association. He facilitates classes for Right Voice for You, a program of Access Consciousness, and he wants to help people “live beautifully.”

Check out the show notes and recording for EP 376: How to Have the Conversations You’re Avoiding.

How to Have the Conversations You’re Avoiding

How do you ask for what you want in a relationship?

In my relationship, I have a tendency to say ‘yes’ to everything. My husband has a tendency to say ‘no’. We’ve both learned to take a moment and ourselves whether it actually works for us. Follow what brings the most joy and is lightest to you.

Our relationship with money is totally different. I like to shop, he likes to save. Recently, we had a good month and made a lot of money. I told him to go shopping, and he came back with four pairs of socks. Some people might say, “Why can’t he have fun like I do?” ‘Like I do’ is the problem.

How can you ask for what you want without shame or guilt?

I ask myself two questions:
“What do they expect of me?” That’s a projection of what I should do.
“What do they require of me?” This will create change.

How do you overcome the need to be right?

Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself, “Is it more important that I’m right or free? Right or happy?” Be willing to not have all the answers, and own that you’re not perfect. Ask the Universe to show you another possibility.

How do you have the conversations you’re avoiding?

People usually avoid difficult conversations when there’s an expectation about what’s going to happen if they have that conversation. For example, in business, if you need to tell a member of your staff you’re unhappy with their behavior.

We stop ourselves from speaking up, because we’re afraid of how others will perceive us. Someone can’t change their behavior unless we speak up and say it doesn’t work for us. State what’s true for you. It can create space for something totally different to turn up.

What are your final words of wisdom for listeners who want to go on their last first date?

Give up any idea as to what the last first date is supposed to be. Be willing to go on an adventure. Ask yourself, “if I was really being me, what would that look like?”

Learn more about Chris

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