How to Heal Your Relationship With Yourself

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heal your relationship

Before you can have a healthy relationship with others, you must heal your relationship with yourself. Dawn Kohler shows you how.

Dawn Kohler was an entrepreneur in the computer industry when she was abruptly summoned to take a life-altering course. What followed was an extraordinary journey that gave her profound insights and a deep understanding of the human dynamic. Combining these insights and her business experience, Dawn wrote a memoir, The Messages. She’s a sought-after Executive Coach. Her clients have included many of the most influential women in entertainment, as well as senior leaders at such companies as Sony Pictures, NBCUniversal, Lionsgate, DreamWorks, Fox, Snapchat, Disney, and Amazon.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • How to access our relationship with ourselves
  • How our relationship with ourselves influences our relationship with others
  • How to stop blaming our parents for how we turned out
  • How our relationship with ourselves affects who we date

EP 531: Dawn Kohler – How to Heal Your Relationship With Yourself

How do we access our relationship with ourselves?

When we take a moment to evaluate the state of our relationship with ourselves, we tune into our needs and desires, our hurts, our feelings and our successes. When you ask the right questions, what grade would you give yourself?

A lot of us treat us the way our parents treated us. Sometimes that’s okay, but we often were dismissed and neglected.

How does it affect or influence our relationship with others?

Having a stronger inner core helps us attract the right people into our lives. If we don’t, we can have a hidden agenda – that creeps up when we least expect it. These are unmet childhood needs. We tend to numb ourselves, but these things keep resurfacing. The more conscious we become on these unmet childhood needs, the better we can be in relationships.

[More on Inner Bonding and healing the inner child in this episode with Margaret Paul.]

When can we stop blaming our parents for the way we are turning out?

It doesn’t benefit anyone to blame our parents. They were in charge of caring for you, and if damage was done, now we’re accountable for healing and moving forward.

How does our relationship with self affect the people we choose to date?

Many of us have intimacy fears – what we fear will happen after we’re intimate with someone. Our inner protector comes and judges the other person to keep us safe. 

We also need to be aware of the inner teddy bear we might be hiding from ourselves and others. The rescue fantasy – finding the right person will rescue us. Both need to rescue themselves first! 

You can’t protect and connect at the same time.

What are some steps we can take to have a better relationship with ourselves?

  1. Start by being your own best friend
  2. Journal daily – How are you doing? How are you feeling? What can I do to support you today? What do you need from me today?
  3. Take a photo of yourself at a young age, and talk to her, because that’s where we find our joy
  4. Recognition moments: Write down three things you did well at the end of every day
  5. Pay attention to your self talk so you can feel more positive about yourself
  6. Take yourself out on a weekly date. It could be as simple as walking to the park or reading a book. 

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Evaluate your relationship with yourself first. If you’re in a good relationship with yourself, you’ll reflect that in the person you date.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Dawn here: Email her at

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