How to Increase Intimacy and Build Conscious Relationships

Posted by in dating in midlife, sex after 40 | 0 comments

increase intimacy

How do you increase intimacy in your relationships? My podcast guest, Magda Kay, has the answers you need to hear!

Magda Kay is an Intimacy Expert, Tantra Teacher & Conscious Relating Coach, author of No More Faking It, and founder of the School of Intimacy. She is on a mission to help people access their deepest desires and discover the ability to create transformative intimacy in their lives.

In this episode:

  • Why Magda became an intimacy expert and Tantra teacher
  • What is intimacy and how is iit different from sex?
  • The top mistakes people make that lead to breakups
  • How to create more intimacy and build more conscious relationships

EP 613: Magda Kay – How to Increase Intimacy and Build Conscious Relationships

What led you to become an intimacy expert and Tantra teacher?

My story starts in childhood. I was missing an example of healthy love. I didn’t want a relationship like theirs. I grew up cynical about love. I was 26 when I had my first relationship. When it ended, I felt pain for the first time. It crushed me. The reason we had grown apart was I wasn’t having orgasms. He took it personally and withdrew. 

I happened to be living with a highly sexual roommate at the time, and she told me I had to open up. I started doing energy healing and spiritual work. One of the healers sensed abuse in my body, but I didn’t remember any experience. I studied tantra in India. Then moved to a tantra community in Thailand. As I healed, people started coming to me with questions about intimacy, which led me to this practice today.

What are the four power centers?

We need all four in balance to live a centered life.

  1. Head: Logic, setting goals to make things happen. The shadow is when you let the head take over and burnout and get sick.
  2. Heart: Allowing your heart to open to love and connection. The shadow is when you stay in a bad relationship because of the heart – overlooking what doesn’t work.
  3. Gut: Safety and security. Shadow side protects you from taking risks.
  4. Sex: Pleasure in all forms. There is wisdom in listening to our genitals. The shadow side is only focusing on fun and ignoring responsibility.

What is intimacy and how is it different from sex?

Intimacy is the how – the depth of your experience of life. How deeply are you present with everything? There are three types of relationships where intimacy exists: With others. With Self. With Life. 
Sex is the what. You can have intimacy with anyone without sex.Intimacy is a fundamental human need. We don’t need sex in the same way. We lost so much intimacy.

How can we create more intimacy and build more conscious relationships?

  1. Build more depth in your life and in your relationships. How deep are you right now? Start slowly. Momentum is built. The first thing you can do is to gaze into people’s eyes. Challenge yourself to be more present and allow them to gaze at you. For couples, opening your eyes during sex can help you go deeper. 
  2. Gentle caressing and touching creates more intimacy. Play with hair, cup genitals of your partner, and touch each other more often. Kiss more. 
  3. Whispering is another sensual way to create more intimacy. 
  4. Ask better questions, more open-ended, and deeper.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

If you really yearn to meet your partner, you might be sad that you haven’t met them yet. If you approach a date with the possibility of them being the last person you’ll meet for a first date, ie. your last first date, you would be much more excited about dating. Have a positive mindset.

Watch on YouTube

Magda’s Social Media and Website Links






Get Magda’s book for $1 on Kindle until the end of June 2024

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.