How to Inspire a Man to Commit to You

Posted by in love after 40, self-esteem in dating, single women over 40 | 0 comments

inspire a man to commit to you

How can you inspire a man to commit to you for a lifetime? Check out these fantastic tips by my podcast guest, love coach, Polina Solda.

My podcast guest, Polina Solda’s dating expertise comes from a roller coaster of real-life experiences—struggling in love, getting married, divorced and looking for love again in her 30s. When she moved to NYC to earn her Masters and work at the UN, she also got a “Master’s Degree in dating” by going on 100+ dates, and unlocking the secrets of finding and keeping love.

After she uncovered what was holding her back, she shifted to a new place from which she attracted her dream man. He proposed after six months of dating- they’ve been in a soulmate relationship for 10 years now.

Check out highlights below from my interview with Polina Solda on how to inspire a man to commit to you!

How to Inspire a Man to Commit to You

Listen to/download this episode below. If the player doesn’t work for you, click here.



What led you to be so passionate about helping women find love? 

My story is aligned with your movement, finding your value. I was raised by a single mother. My biological father left before I was born. I had no role models [for love]. My mother remained single, and she had hatred towards men. She never fully recovered from the betrayal and abandonment [of my father]. I didn’t want to repeat my mother’s destiny and not have the partnership I wanted. But without role models, I didn’t know what it would be like to be with a [good] man.

What inspired me to do this work was a man I married in my early twenties. I married him because he liked me. I didn’t have a clear vision for what I wanted.

We got divorced, and I learned the hard way the number one thing: Be a chooser. You can only be a chooser if you know your own value as a woman.

It’s also important to be clear about what you want to create in your relationship. If you have both of those, anything is possible.

In my thirties, I dated for love and legacy. My soul mate and I have been together for a decade, and we’re more in love than ever before.


What inspires a man to commit for a lifetime?

Appreciation is key. Make a man your hero. When he feels like your hero, he’ll move mountains for you. I was highly selective. I didn’t put up with flaky men. I knew I definitely wanted children. Having this clarity was so important. My husband was my hero when we were dating. When you seal the relationship with praise and unconditional approval, miracles will happen!

[19:00 listen to a story about what her husband did for her while they were dating!]


How can women let down their guard while dating?

Do an experiment. When you’re guarded, observe how many men approach you. Most likely, they won’t. Test out what happens when you let down your guard and judgment. If you want to create intimacy, you must let go of judgment. Look for what to appreciate. Maybe you see a man helping an elderly woman, and say, “Wow, you’re such a gentleman.” He will stand up taller. Men need to know what would make him be your hero. Express your needs, wants, and desires. Be clear about your deal breakers and set clear boundaries. That’s a foundation for a lasting loving partnership.


What are some examples of ways a woman can show appreciation on a first date—without feeling fake or awkward?

Shift your mindset to the novelty of the first date; maybe you’re experiencing new cuisine, or a new place, or new music. You’ll learn something new. I had a short first date with my husband. I asked him to meet a block away from my house. He made an effort to come see me, which was great. I appreciated that he met me on my turf.

If a man asks you to suggest a place for a first date, look for ways to have him put in some effort. Give him the opportunity to be a hero. Thank him for coming to see you or choosing a nice place.

If he offers you a drink, appreciate that. If he shares something personal, appreciate that he opened up. If he’s nervous and puts himself in that vulnerable state, thank him for being open with you and accept him.


What can you offer to our listeners who are ready to take action today?

I am very excited for you to be among the first to know that we’re launching our 3rd annual online show, Meet and Marry Mr. Right. Sandy, I’m excited that you’re a returning guest. The event starts November first, and it’s absolutely free! You can sign up now right here:


Can you share one last tip for how to go on your last first date?

Be in the flow and the state of appreciation, starting with yourself; all the people you’re blessed with, and all the experiences you have in your love life are lessons and opportunities to become a high value woman and find lasting love!

Polina’s website.

Polina’s Facebook page.

Please take a moment to rate and review our show on iTunes here. Thank you!

Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session to learn how coaching with Sandy can help you finally attract in the love you deserve.




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