How to Keep the Spark Alive in a Long-Term Relationship
Experts in relationship and intimacy dynamics, Drs. Rob + Janelle Alex, Ph.D. are mentoring couples around the globe. As best selling authors, their newest releases are the Mission Date Night Adventure series. They also cohost the Mission Date Night podcast. Passionate about married dating, Secret Animal Powers, and Transcendent LovemakingTM Rob and Janelle are obliterating long-standing relationships myths. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of our radio interview, How to Keep the Spark Alive in a Long-Term Relationship.
Why do you believe couples need adventure in their relationships?
Rob: We need it in our life in general. When you have it in your relationship, it keeps things fresh like during the courtship phase. It’s easy to lose connection and playfulness that helps a relationship strong. Laughter is the best medicine.
Janelle: keeps romance, desire, passion and desire readily available and deepens the relationship all the time.
Once couples really get to know each other how can they feel mysterious and intriguing?
Do different things – get out of your rut. You can go on Mission Date Night adventures. You can do a Google search for date night ideas. Step a little bit out of your comfort zone together. It’s amazing how your connection grows when you do something out of your comfort zone and experience it together. If it’s way out of your comfort zone, think about it before discounting it. It could lead to a great conversation about what types of things you’d like to try together. Create a bucket list. Set levels – a little or a lot out of the comfort zone. Plus, there are financial expenses to some of the bigger things. Go to a different type of restaurant and try new foods together.
You can even get dressed up as a different woman and meet your significant other at a bar for some excitement.
Do you believe that date nights should always lead to sex (lovemaking)?
Date night doesn’t always have to lead to sex. And get your mind out of “sex is always intercourse”. Foreplay begins in the morning when you wake up, the kiss goodbye, the texts and phone calls throughout the day. There’s so much excitement that is sexual that comes without touching. There is so much energy that flows between the two of you.
Sex doesn’t only have to be/shouldn’t be goal-oriented. It’s what you need in your relationship. Cuddle time can be just that. Communicate through talk and touch and so much more than just sex.
How can you manage your expectations in a long-term relationship?
Your expectations change and grow over time because YOU both change and grow over time. Your relationship shouldn’t be goal-oriented either. There is no finish line when you meet that special person. It’s a journey filled with peaks and valleys.
Enjoy the journey together!