How to Maintain Self-Worth After a Relationship Ends

Posted by in breaking up with grace, communication skills in dating, dating after divorce, dating in midlife | 0 comments

maintain self-worth

Don’t lose your dignity after a breakup or divorce. Here’s how to maintain self-worth after a relationship is over.

Mal Duane is a bestselling Author, Transformational Coach, and successful Real Estate Business owner. But actually Mal is the champion for restoring women’s self-worth. She helps women heal their broken hearts. She is an expert on helping woman reclaim their power.

I love to connect with anyone who helps women heal their broken hearts and reclaim their power. That’s my mission in life, too. Which is why I was thrilled to interview Mal  Duane on Last First Date Radio about How to Maintain Your Self-Worth After a Relationship Ends.

You can read highlights of my interview with Mal below. 

How to Maintain Your Self-Worth After a Relationship Ends

Why do women assume the end of a relationship is about them?

Sadly, we immediately go into that default position. “My marriage is ending, what did I do wrong?” When a relationship ends, it’s because we made a conscious or unconscious choice, or because of something that the man chose to do within himself. A lack of self-love leads to conscious or unconscious choices. We choose to love men who are narcissists, have addictions, or have a fear of intimacy. The relationship can’t work.

Women spend more time picking out a pair of shoes than choosing a man. Men lay their cards out early on. They lay clues as to what their emotional backbone is about.

In my case [with my ex-husband], I had intuitive gut feelings that I dismissed. When we were dating, I had uncomfortable feelings. I should have paid attention. They were red flags. Because we want to be loved so badly, we ignore the red flags. No man will complete you or make you whole. If you don’t feel worthy going into the relationship, you’ll feel even worse after the breakup.

Accept that you’re meant to be happy. Happiness is a practice of allowing.

What are the effects of Masculine vs. Feminine energy in a relationship ending?

I’m guilty of falling into masculine energy. It’s about being defensive, trying to protect ourselves when we feel something is being taken away from us. We escalate negative feelings, [and get into] a combative mode. When you can recognize that you’re in combat mode, stop. 

Get into your feminine energy, [which is] allowing, being in the flow, responding, not reacting. You have so much more power when you’re in your feminine energy, your allowing, softer side. Our bodies are our best barometers. When you feel tightness and stress, you’re in your masculine energy. Sometimes you need that energy. When you’re trying to resolve [relationship issues], get into your feminine energy.

Our greatest tool is meditation. We get in touch with our soul and our deepest emotions. We feel our bodies vibrationally and energetically. When we meditate and quiet everything down, we can really feel where we’re at.

What’s one thing women can do to feel better about a break up?

I have an exercise: Take a piece of paper and make three columns.

First column: What wasn’t quite right in the relationship?

Middle column: What could make it better? What could I do better?

Third column: How can I make that happen?

When you can look at the big picture of what wasn’t quite right—not from judgment, but from observation—you’re planting seeds for the future.

Also, be yourself, not something other than what you are. Eventually the real you starts to come through. Love and cherish who you are. You also want that from a man; you want him to be himself. 

I just love Mal, don’t you?

Listen to the episode here.

Download/listen to any of our over 200 episodes on iTunes.


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