How to Manage Your Expectations in Dating (and Life)

Posted by in dating after divorce, first date success, red flags in relationships, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

manage your expectations

Whether you’re overly excited for a first date or a new job, it’s important to manage your expectations. Here’s how…

Unrealistic expectations can wreak havoc on your emotional health. Make no assumptions. Get as much information as you can to make an informed decision. Balance your heart and your head. Spend less time in dreamland, more with both feet planted on the ground. And please, go in with your eyes wide open, and you’ll have the best outcome.

Two stories that illustrate why it’s important to manage your expectations:


Story #1: Manage Your Expectations in Dating

In this six-minute video that I recorded for a storytelling event, I reveal a first date story that now makes me cringe. I had just started dating online, and I fell in love with the potential of this man over the phone. His emails made me melt. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I was smitten! Here’s what happened next…


Story #2: Manage your expectations in life

I just returned from a three-day conference on public speaking. For most of my life, I considered myself to be the farthest thing from a public speaker. I was shy. I never raised my hand in elementary school, afraid I’d answer incorrectly and be judged.

I never dreamed that one day, I’d deliver a TEDx speech, enter and win speech contests, and get paid to speak.

Now, I love expanding and refining my speaking skills. The conference I attended promised that everyone can become a better speaker, 100% guaranteed. We were going to learn everything from improvisation, to body work, to content creation, rehearsal tips, and the business of speaking. There was even a comedian to teach how to use comedy in your speeches.

I invested quite a bit of money, time, and effort into this conference. And it didn’t live up to its promises for me. There was a little bit of information about a lot of things, but no deeper work. I like to dig deeper, to really explore how to grow my speeches.

Was I disappointed?

A little, but not really. I’ve learned to take away the nuggets inherent in any conference or course. You can always learn something and apply it to your life.

The best part is, I made some awesome new friends/colleagues, and we’ll be supporting one another as we grow into the best speakers we can be.


So, whether you’re going on a first date, planning on a conference, or taking a trip to somewhere fun, take a step back from the emotional pull and invite your brain to join the party. Gather up as much knowledge as you can so you’re informed before you get your hopes up too high. Ask questions. Less dreaming, more reality. That’s the ticket to learning to manage your expectations.


Have you ever been disappointed by reality vs. your expectations? Please share your story in the comments below.

Photo: Internet Titans





  1. How to Deal With Mind Games in Dating - - […] was out of touch for a length of time, you became increasingly anxious, and you began to question his…
  2. How to Deal With Mind Games in Dating – The Good Men Project - […] was out of touch for a length of time, you became increasingly anxious, and you began to question his…

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

AlphaOmega Captcha Classica  –  Enter Security Code

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.