How to Move On After Infidelity

Posted by in infidelity, red flags in relationships | 0 comments


How do you move on after infidelity? Can you repair your relationship? My podcast guest, therapist Lisa Brateman, has the answers!

If you’ve ever experienced infidelity, it can be hard to recover. My podcast guest, Lisa Brateman, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, relationship specialist, public speaker, and media commentator with more than two decades of experience. She’s also the author of “The Courage to Walk Away: Move on After Infidelity by Mourning What You Lost, Identifying Your Relationship Needs, and Empowering Yourself for the Future“. She offers individual, couples, and group therapy in New York City.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • How to trust again after your partner cheats
  • How to trust your judgment after infidelity
  • How to tolerate uncertainty and unanswered questions
  • What is financial infidelity and how do you identify it?

EP 599: Lisa Brateman – How to Move On after Infidelity

How can people trust again after their partner cheats?

Trust is earned over time. If you were betrayed by someone you trusted, it’s hard to trust again. You have to work through the grieving process with yourself, your therapist, your partner. Ask yourself: What went wrong? What was your part? What do you want as your next step? If your goals don’t align over time, the relationship won’t work. If you leave the relationship and date someone new, take your time and heal.

How can someone trust their own judgment after infidelity?

It’s about knowing yourself. Our judgment is often based on other people’s opinions, not our own. We need to understand our values and needs.

How can people tolerate the feeling of uncertainty and unanswered questions?

You’ll probably never know why they cheated. You have to accept that, learn who you are, listen to your instincts, and make your choices based on your intuition.

What is financial infidelity, and how do you identify it?

It’s trickier in some ways to identify. Financial infidelity is when there are hidden finances. You might see high credit card bills, gambling, hidden money. In a relationship, big purchases should be discussed, and both parties should be aware of how finances work in the relationship. Trust is betrayed and takes a long time to recoup – if at all.

What is emotional infidelity?

It’s not a sexual relationship, but it could be a co-worker or friend with whom you develop a deep emotional relationship and share things you don’t share with your primary partner. It’s infidelity, because you have more of an emotional connection to this person than you do with your partner.

People do this because they don’t feel supported at home. Their needs are not being met by their partner.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Leave your checklist home, and go in open-minded. Leave your expectations at home, because you’ll have already decided who they are before you even know them. Listen to what you see in front of you. Have a good time rather than expecting the other person to entertain you.

Watch this episode on YouTube

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