How to Overcome Cheating and Betrayal
Teri-Lynn Wilkins, is a relationship coach who worked hard to overcome cheating and betrayal in her own life. Now she helps others. Here’s why.
My radio guest, Teri-Lynn Wilkins, is a life and relationship coach who worked hard to overcome cheating and betrayal. She was married for 18 years with two children, a good career, and abundant wealth. To the outside world, it looked perfect, but Teri-Lynn wasn’t happy.
She had an affair, got divorced, and began eight years of crucifixion as the ‘other woman’, and then rejection as the one cheated on. She faced the demons of family patterns, childhood wounds, and finally arrived at her own resurrection.
Teri-Lynn has been in practice for 15 years, having been featured on HGTV and national publications. She is shedding light on the often taboo topic of infidelity, bringing lasting healing to both sides. Check out highlights below for episode #248: Overcoming Infidelity, Cheating, and Betrayal.
How to Overcome Cheating and Betrayal
Tell us about your relationship with Darek Laviolette, my guest from last week’s show!
Darek found me on Facebook. He’s a relationship coach, and I thought he lived in Hawaii. Turned out we lived 20 minutes away from each other, and we’re in a great relationship. Can you imagine two relationship coaches being in a relationship together? [What I discovered is that] there are triggers and old wounds that don’t come out unless you’re in a relationship.
Why do people get cheated on, and how can they overcome cheating?
Many women who have been cheated on think it has nothing to do with them. Maybe you’re not a cheater, but I believe we attract who we are. We may have the same wounds, but the behavior is different. Maybe it comes out as an addiction to alcohol or shopping. Or maybe it’s something positive, like what I did by appearing successful to the outside world, even when I was unhappy. Dig deeper to understand what was mirrored there for you as the person who was cheated on. It’s an invitation to find the value in ourselves.
I did everything humanly possible to not feel unworthy. To the outside world, I looked successful. Darek had the same thing. It’s an attempt to not feel “I’m not enough”.
Can you share your story of infidelity and how you learned to overcome cheating?
I was the most unlikely of cheaters. I was married 18 years, and never looked at another man. Then I started talking to someone from high school, and I left my marriage within weeks. I had enough emotional awareness to understand that I wasn’t leaving my husband for this man, but it was because of a lack of intimacy in my marriage.
It was exhilarating and terrifying to leave. I began a journey of being cheated on. It took a number of years to navigate through countless breakups until I asked myself, “what is it in me that I need to see”? I consider it the best thing that happened to me. It’s how I found myself.
Is it true that once a cheater always a cheater?
It depends on why they cheated to begin with.
There are 5 main reasons why people cheat
1. Not happy in a relationship.
2. Lost connection.
3. You’re with someone with deep insecurities.
4. Not in touch with sexuality. [Might be gay, transgender, bisexual and married to keep it a secret.]
5. People change, grow apart, and fall in love with other people.
[Click to get Teri-Lynn’s free guide on why people cheat, which goes into great depth.]
Why is cheating so common?
It’s happening all over, but no one is talking about it. There’s shame and embarrassment about it if you’re cheating or being cheated on. People are silently suffering and not talking about it.
In this age of social media, digital relationships, and internet porn, there are many more people having emotional affairs, which is also a form of cheating.
[I love to help people overcome cheating and betrayal and go on to have healthy happy relationships.]
Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? Please leave a comment below and share your story.
Connect with Teri on her website here.
To listen to the episode, click here.
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