How to Practice Tantric Dating
What is Tantric Dating? My podcast guest, Catherine Auman, explains the truth behind tantra (spoiler alert: it’s not about orgies).
My podcast guest, Catherine Auman‘s most recent book is Tantric Dating: Bringing Love and Awareness to the Dating Process. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Catherine is a relationship therapist and the Director of The Transpersonal Counseling Center in Los Angeles, California. She has advanced training in traditional psychology as well as the wisdom traditions. Catherine speaks twice a month in LA on how to find love and happy relationships, and she is the author of two books.
Highlights below for Episode 340: Tantric Dating: Bringing Love and Awareness to the Dating Process.
What inspired you to do this work?
I came from a difficult childhood. I decided to become a therapist because of all the therapy I had. At 50, I decided to incorporate my spiritual side to my practice. I brought sacred sexuality and meditation to my work.
I got into Tantric Dating and relationship counseling because of a pivotal birthday. I realized I had everything [in my life] except a toe-curling relationship. I set out to find the love of my life. I went on dating sites, hired a coach, went to meet-ups, and a year and a half ago, I met him. People asked how I did that, and I now speak twice a week in LA to share my process.
What is Tantric Dating, and how is it different from conventional dating?
I studied Tantra in India. People think it’s just about sex and we were having orgies. That’s not what we were doing. It’s about everything being sacred, including sex. If we’re in the present moment, everything is perfect.
In conventional dating, we always try to find what’s wrong with a person or ourselves. We immediately look for how it won’t work. For ourselves, we say we’re too old, not the right body type. We become less loving people, and in that process, the likelihood of finding love diminishes.
I incorporated the tantric principles into dating. On a date, I would say even if the person is not a life partner, ask myself what’s right with him and how loving it can be. I found myself becoming a more loving person. I raised my own frequency to attract the right man into my life.
You say there is really no such thing as rejection. What do you mean by that?
When men ghost you, don’t call you back, etc., it’s because of fear. Rejection is not personal. It’s not proof that you’re not lovable. It’s just not a good fit. If we meet someone and like them more than they like us, we can say to ourselves, it’s not a match. Or that doesn’t work for me either, because I want someone who really likes me.
I had 150 first dates.There were many men who didn’t like me, and that was good, because it helped me find the right man for me.
What final words can you share with our audience to help them go on their last first date?
Don’t value his opinion over your own.
Reframe dating so encounters are meaningful even if you don’t hit the jackpot. You will meet another human being, and [approaching dating with more love] increases our ability to be more loving.
Learn more about Catherine here.
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