How to Stop Overthinking in Dating

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overthinking in dating

If you’re prone to overthinking in dating and relationships and create stories in your head, this video is for you.

Overthinking in dating can sabotage your relationship…before it even starts! If you over-analyze when you first start dating someone, listen to this client story. ‘Amy’ went on a great first date on a Saturday, and at the end of the date, the guy said he’d love to see her again. She was so excited for their second date. Sunday, he didn’t text or call. Monday, she waited all day to hear from him. Why isn’t he texting me back? Did I say or do something wrong on the date? He’s back on the app! Why would he go back on the app if we had such a great date? On Friday, he called to ask her out for Sunday, but by that time, she was so angry at him, she ended up pushing him away.

Most of us tend to overthink, especially at the beginning stages of a new relationship. Hopefully this will help you stay cool, calm, collected, and in tune with reality when your mind starts to go down the overthinking path…

4 Steps to Stop Overthinking in Dating

1. Don’t Fall into The Texting Rabbit Hole. To prevent yourself from analyzing his texts, wondering why he didn’t respond right away, worrying about whether he even read your text, do this: reply to his text, delete the text thread, rinse and repeat. When you keep deleting the text thread, you won’t be able to over-analyze. 

2. Take Care of YOUR Side of the Street. You can only control your own thoughts, words, and actions, not his. But, when a man you’re dating doesn’t respond to your text, call you, or he says something that makes you anxious, over-thinkers tend to get all up in their heads. They make up stories about why he did or said that. Then, they try to control the situation by taking charge. When they haven’t heard from him all day, they might text, “You okay?”.  Instead, remember the person you’re dating is going to do things that are out of your control. So take care of your side of the street, and if they don’t hold up their end of the bargain, that’s on them, not you.

3. Get a Reality Check. The thoughts swimming around in your over-thinking brain need a reality check. Get them out of your head and into someone else’s head. In other words, find the most rational friend or coach, and ask them if what you’re thinking is true. Work through your thoughts so you don’t carry them with you.

4. Identify Your FearsOver-thinking stems from fears in dating and relationships. It can usually be traced to the fear of not being good enough in some way. When we don’t feel we’re enough, we focus on all the ways we might be rejected. If this is true for you, I encourage you to do the inner work to build up your self worth. When you date with confidence, that you are the chooser, you’ll worry less about being liked by every guy you like. You’ll stop overthinking so much, and you’ll focus on your own joy. 

Want to dive deeper into this topic? ‘Overthinking in dating’ is the theme of the month this March, 2021 in the Woman of Value Club. Learn more and join for the low price of only $7 for the first month!

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to learn what’s getting in the way of your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 1/2 hour breakthrough session

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Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love.


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