How to Survive the Holidays (And Your Dysfunctional Family)
Dysfunctional family parties? Single during the holidays? Here are great tips for how to survive the holidays, no matter what!
Christy Whitman is a celebrity coach and a leading expert on the application and practice of the universal laws that govern every act of manifestation. An entertaining and sought-after public speaker and the author of 5 books, two of which became New York Times bestsellers, Christy has helped tens of thousands of women and men around the world to understand, harness, and deliberately direct universal forces such as attraction, polarity, alignment and momentum to more effortlessly manifest their personal and professional desires.
Highlights below for episode #337: Christy Whitman On How to Survive the Holiday.
How to Survive Holiday Parties (And Your Dysfunctional Family)
What do you need to ask yourself before you attend Holiday parties?
We need to get in the habit of asking ourselves what we want. Set an intention and visualize what you want beforehand. Ask yourself: What do I want? Why do I want it? How do I want to feel?
Pre-pave what you do want to happen. This gets us off what we don’t want. And it focuses on what we do want.
How do we get through Holiday Parties when we’re made to feel inadequate or competitive with others?
We get to decide how we want to feel in our bodies. When you don’t want to go to a party and it’s a ‘no’, stick with the ‘no’. If you grew up in a family where you did what was needed to make others happy, it’s a practice to get comfortable inside yourself [saying no and setting boundaries].
Our emotions are guiding us to what feels good or not. Most women take care of others first. We need to give from the saucer, not the cup. When we matter, we have excess to give others. There might be some disappointment from others, and that’s okay.
You say there are five steps to having a great experience during the holidays. Can you share those with us?
- Accept others. If you’re going to a party, accept everyone for who they are. Waste no energy on trying to change someone or judging.
- Appreciate and acknowledge the wisdom you gather from the interaction. Even if the experience wasn’t positive, people are a reflection of what’s going on inside us. If we have an emotional reaction, acknowledge the wisdom of the emotions inside you. Use it to learn more about yourself. Accept them for where they are. You’re having an emotional reaction inside of you.
- Send out waves of appreciation for what others are teaching you about yourself. Resentments bind us to people more than love does. The negativity will hold you back.
- Process the emotions. If this is a person you no longer choose to see again, get on with the busy-ness of life. There’s no need to have a conversation and blame or enlighten them about what doesn’t work about them. Not everyone deserves a backstage pass to your life. If this is someone you’re related to, the conversation you have with them is with acceptance, allowing the learning, appreciate them.
- Accept yourself and others. Allow others to be on their path. Allow yourself to be on your path.
What advice do you have for people who feel they’re lonely and lacking love during the holidays?
It’s up to us to focus on what we DO have. What’s right and good in our lives? What are you content with? No life is perfect. If you stay stuck in the limitations and feel you’re missing something, you have the ability to give that emotion to yourself. When you do, you feel you’re already having it. It begins to attract in what you want. Watch what you say, think, processing. Don’t let your circumstances feed your loneliness, sadness, and fear. Know you’re the creator of how you do want to feel. That’s when things begin to change.
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