How to THRIVE in Today’s Dating and Sex Culture
Dr. Nancy Lee returns to Last First Date Radio to help women stand up for themselves and thrive in today’s dating and sex culture!
My podcast guest, Dr. Nancy Lee, is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Beverly Hills, California and the author of Don’t Sleep With Him Yet: A Badass Guide to Dating in 10 Empowering Steps. A Vitals Patients’ Choice award recipient, Dr. Lee applies a unique blend of clinical and scholarly expertise to interpersonal relationships, depression and anxiety, and psychosexual desire and functioning. Dr. Lee has been interviewed by the Los Angeles Times, Cosmopolitan, Oprah magazine, Bustle, Yahoo News, Betches, Tinder.com, KNBC, FOX, and KTTV, among others. She has also been featured on the Jenny McCarthy Show, iHeartRadio, Deborah Kobylt Live, LA Talk Radio, and this is her second appearance on Last First Date Radio!
In EP 394: Dr. Nancy Lee – How to THRIVE in Today’s Dating and Sex Culture:
- How to empower women to thrive in today’s confusing dating and sex scene
- Why women often don’t trust their instincts around men and relationships
- How women can learn to trust their instincts
- Surprising things men share about dating and relationships
- Why so many women have sex out of obligation
- Men to avoid
- And more
EP 394: Dr. Nancy Lee – How to THRIVE in Today’s Dating and Sex Culture
How does your book empower women to THRIVE in today’s confusing and often frustrating dating scene and sex culture?
A running theme of the book is standing up for yourself. My book rose out of all the contrived rules. I tell women to go with their heart and head. What do you really want, not what a guy wants. Arm yourself with knowledge and trust your instinct.
How can women learn to trust their instinct?
Women tend to have more dense neurons in our brain that are responsible for intuition. We overanalyze and second guess ourselves. Think about people pleasing, and change it to self pleasing. You’ll start listening to yourself when you please yourself.
As a therapist, are there any surprising thoughts and/or issues regarding sex and relationships that men share with you?
Men talked with me about how women were initiating sex on early dates, and they didn’t want sex yet. But, they didn’t want women to judge them for being ‘less than’.
Another thing men have shared is how romantic they can be. They want to please women.
I’ve also heard from some men who have agreed to be in an exclusive relationship, but they feel guilty because this is not a woman they want to be with permanently. He’s thinking he’s going to dump her in 7 months, and she thinks he’s going to propose.
Why do you think so many women today have sex out of obligation and not true desire?
They’re putting men’s needs and wants before their own. Women think men would be angry or dump them if they didn’t sleep with a man. The irony is he’s going to move on to someone else anyway. This points to people pleasing, what you think you’re supposed to do vs. what you WANT to do.
If we wait to sleep with a dating partner versus sleeping together right away, how does that affect the brain?
What are some examples of “Men to Avoid” in the book?
Narcissists: he is charming, and women are enthralled. He lacks empathy and sensitivity to others. Women can be devastated by these men. How to recognize early on? How they treat the server in a restaurant. He talks down to them.
Emotional manipulator: tries to gain control by causing a partner to doubt their own perceptions. Example: you’re on a date, and a man is staring at his phone most of the time. You tactfully ask him to please put away his phone. He puts it back on you —”You’re always criticizing me”.
Can you provide some specific strategies or coping mechanisms for women already involved with any of these guys?
Learn to call them out on their stuff. If a man is looking at his phone non stop and says you’re critical, you look them in the eye, and you say, “No, I’m not being critical. I’m calling you out on something that’s rude.”
What are some of the most important takeaways for women from the book?
Always stand up for yourself. Because if you stand up for yourself, people will start to value and respect you. Choose someone who will enhance your life, not define your life. Find someone to elevate your life and make it better.
Connect with Dr. Nancy Lee!
Follow her on instagram @drnancylee
Facebook Don’t sleep with him yet/the book
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