How to Unleash Your Feminine Grace to Win His Love
Nicole DiRocco, founder of Dating With Grace, is devoted to helping executive women have the confidence and skills to attract a healthy, extraordinary loving relationship. A recovering human resources executive, Nicole is a certified dating and relationship coach, blogger and speaker.
Nicole understands the challenges facing women in the business world and how working in such an environment can influence how women approach dating and relationships. Knowing that it is being in your feminine grace that will attract the right man, Nicole supports smart, savvy professional women gain the know-how they need to date successfully.
Nicole joined me on Last First Date Radio to speak about How to Unleash Your Feminine Grace to Win His Love. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of the show.
How to Unleash Your Feminine Grace to Win His Love
Why do you call yourself a recovering HR executive?
Recovering = stopping a harmful behavior. I spent many years in the corporate world. Then, something happened that brought awareness to a harmful behavior…
I was taking painting lessons, and my instructor wanted me to add more paint and more detail. I didn’t want to add more paint, as I didn’t want to mess it up. It was acrylic, and you can’t really mess it up! But, each week, my instructor told me the same thing; add more detail and more paint. Then it hit me. When I don’t feel comfortable, I procrastinate.
At the same time, I was in a coaching program, and I brought this up to my mentor. She asked, “Are you getting a grade in the painting class?” I said, “No”. She said, “The highly competitive corporate world you came from made you always have to be the expert and in control. What would it be like if it the painting class was just fun?”
I went back to the class and added more paint and detail and it was so much better!
Being in your feminine grace is about bringing that lightness and fun into your life.
What does it mean to be in your feminine grace?
It’s not about being submissive or giving up your power. When a woman is in her feminine grace, she gives power to herself and to her man.
Most women are attracted to men who lead, men with character. Most strong leaders tend to care less about a certain body type and face. They place more value on a woman’s behaviors and character.
Feminine grace is the foundation by which a woman lives her life in order to be happy.
She loves every aspect of being a woman. She doesn’t need a man to be complete. She is happy to say she wants a man. She doesn’t use her gender as an excuse for what doesn’t work in her life. She’s confident, takes responsibility for her actions. She likes and appreciates men.
How can a woman learn to trust and like men if she’s had bad experiences throughout her life?
Every man is an individual, and you can’t project onto a man due to bad past experiences. A woman in her feminine grace is present, not living in the past.
She needs to dig deep within herself, and remove the barriers that are keeping her closed. It helps to have a coach assist with this type of deeper work.
How does she get into her feminine grace?
She practices extreme self-care, doing things that make her happy.
For example, I declared that I wanted to have a joyful life and do things that bring me joy. That’s why I took up painting and a wine class. I went on a food and wine excursion through Provence! One of my travel companions was a Holocaust survivor. I spent eight inspiring days with her. I created joy in my life.
When I do things that bring me joy, I attract joy. Then I can focus on who to attract into my life.
Feminine grace means you attract love from the inside out. A man knows you’re happy already, and wants to make you happier. Men are attuned to a woman who likes herself and places a priority on herself.
Why do you say that a woman needs to have a vision for the life she wants to create before she looks for a partner?
It’s important to be crystal clear about what your core needs and vales are. You need to know what kind of life you want to create before looking for a partner. You see if he’ll fit into that life, not the other way around.
What do you mean by a man is telling a woman who he is on a first date?
I’ve spent a lot of time in the people business, teaching how to be effective in communication. I’ve learned that men say what they mean from the get-go. Look for clues and step over nothing. But don’t interrogate.
Here’s an example:
I recently had a first date with someone I met online. I told him I don’t like to text and prefer phone calls. We spoke on the phone, and he asked me to dinner near my home. A few hours after the phone call, he texted, “I know you don’t like to text, but…” He was dismissing how I like to receive communication.
When we met, he was a gentleman. Ordered wine. He took the lead. I loved being in my feminine grace!
He was intrigued by the fact that I’m a coach. He shared that he had a coach to help with an issue at work. Then, he kept referring to his ex. His profile said he was a widower. He said, “Oh no, I have to go in and correct that. I’m divorced after a long marriage. My ex-wife and I have a contentious relationship. She poisoned the kids against me. One of my kids doesn’t talk to me.”
I sensed this was a man who had conflict in his life, and I didn’t want to date him again. I told him we were not a match and wished him the best in his search.
[Pay attention to your gut feelings about what a man reveals in those first conversations. You’ll learn so much about his true character before you become clouded by attraction hormones.]
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