How’s Your Dating Attitude?

Posted by in dating after divorce, self-esteem in dating | 0 comments

Have you had a series of bad first dates? Maybe you just came back from a singles event, depressed that you didn’t meet any great guys. Or perhaps you are dating online, and no one has contacted you in weeks. Or, you might not be dating at all. Whatever the case may be, dating can be depressing. It can feel like failure after failure with no hope in sight. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

As my colleague, dating coach Evan Marc Katz has said, the default setting in dating is FAILURE. Of course you’re going to fail over and over until you meet your husband. You only need to succeed once. So why are so many people upset when they fail?

While I fundamentally agree with the principal behind what Evan Marc Katz says, I am not a fan of the word ‘failure’. According to the dictionary, failure is a lack of success. So, how do you define success?

To me, every date is a success. It all depends on how you view dating.

I see success as a process in which you are learning and growing. The end result does not determine whether something is or is not successful. It’s the process itself that matters while you are working to achieve a goal.

Are you enjoying the journey?

Do you like meeting new men? Are you becoming more comfortable with the whole dating process?

Do you see yourself learning from each date or relationship? Are you taking stock so you don’t repeat mistakes?

Dating is a great way to find out more about who you are in a relationship. It can teach you so much about yourself. What triggers you? What makes you excited and happy? Which types of men make you feel comfortable? Judged? Accepted? Adored? And vice versa; how do you make men feel? What are you doing to attract men and stay in a relationship?

Change your attitude and you’ll improve your dating success. If you approach dating with optimism, you’ll have better dates. And that will ultimately lead you to meeting the ‘one’.

Don’t focus on failure when each date doesn’t result in your last first date. Focus on what worked. Focus on what you learned about him and about yourself.

And go forth with the attitude that with each date, you’re one step further to meeting your husband.

How’s your attitude? Please share your thoughts here.

Happy dating!

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