I Used to Think a Man Would Rescue Me…Until This Happened

Posted by in dating after divorce, love after 40, red flags in relationships | 0 comments

a man would rescue meCan you recall a pivotal moment in your life, one where you had a wakeup call, an aha moment, something that changed your life in a split second? This is my pivotal moment. I was 12-years old. I lived in Long Branch, New Jersey, near the ocean. We spent most of our summers on the beach, and I loved the water. There was only one problem—I wasn’t a strong swimmer. One day, at the beach with my friend Stacy, we jumped into the icy water. One minute we were together, and the next, she was swimming far out into the ocean. I was struggling to catch up to her, when suddenly, I couldn’t swim any further. Something was sucking me down to the bottom of the ocean…

I Used to Think a Man Would Rescue Me…Until This Happened

I was being pulled into a rip tide, and I was struggling to stay afloat. I did the doggy paddle for a bit, but I was becoming breathless. I called for Stacy, but she couldn’t hear me. The lifeguard signaled for me to come out of the water, but I couldn’t. I could barely catch my breath. I began to go under water. Watch this short video to learn what happened next…



It was amazing to me when I connected the dots and learned that I used to think a man would rescue me. I formed my relationships with men based on this idea for the next few decades.

Please excuse the raw quality of the video. I filmed it for an assignment for a storytelling workshop I was taking, and I had a terrible cold at the time. But I also love the fact that it’s not perfect. Because I’m far from perfect, and I’ve learned to be perfectly okay with imperfection. It makes us so much more human, don’t you think?

Through the inner work I’ve done over the past ten years, my relationships have drastically changed. I learned to love and value myself first, to uncover my limiting beliefs and bust them wide open, and to choose relationships that are equitable. I no longer want a man to rescue me. I’ve rescued myself!

Can you recall a pivotal moment in your life, one that taught you something important, where you were forever changed? Please share your thoughts.




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