If I’m Such a Great Catch How Come I’m Still Single?

Posted by in dating after divorce, single women over 40 | 0 comments

still singleDo people often say, “You’re such a great catch; I’m surprised you’re still single”? Are you wondering why yourself? Have you started questioning your desirability and attractiveness? Are you tired of dating disappointments and incompatible partners?

It’s time to take a serious look at where you’re going wrong in your approach to dating. Relationship Coach Rosalind Sedacca was my guest on Last First Date Radio on June 26th. She identified some of the patterns that may be keeping you from achieving your relationship goals so you can find a worthy and lasting love partner.

Rosalind Sedacca, is a Dating & Relationship Coach specializing in mid-life dating. She is co-author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! She’s also co-creator of the Dating Rescue 10-week eCourse for Women, the Create Your Ideal Relationship Kit for Women over 40 and Mastering the Challenges of Dating: A Success Formula for Men. Rosalind is a regular writer for the Huffington Post, Cupid’s Pulse and several other relationship websites and blogs. Learn more about her programs at www.womendatingafter40.comwww.womendatingrescue.com andwww.mensdatingformula.com. Following are loosely transcribed highlights of our radio interview.

 

What causes so many singles to repeat the same mistakes again and again?

If we don’t learn from our past history, we’re likely to find a new person with a new face and repeat old patterns over and over again. Look at life through a new perspective. Ask friends or a coach for feedback. People who are unsuccessful at dating and relationships are telling themselves, “I’m too old, too fat, there’s nobody good out there. It isn’t worth it. All men are _______. All women are_________. ”

You need to believe in yourself. And you need to be focused first on values, not the outer appearance or chemistry you feel for a person. Look for integrity, shared goals, values about spirituality and career.

How do you know he’s a keeper?

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are you comfortable being yourself?
  • Is your time together really enjoyable?
  • Are you hooked on more than just romance?
  • Is he emotionally available and respectful?
  • Is he your sincere best friend?
  • Do your family and friends like him?
  • Do you trust him?
  • Does he have integrity?
  • Do you feel a synchronicity, chemistry, that you belong together and are on the same path?
  • Do you share a common vision of your future together?

How do you know if you’re settling? 

Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel valued in the relationship (or am I not feeling respected and valued)?
  • Am I coming from a place of joy or neediness (clinging because I’m lonely and need to have dates or is it fulfilling being together)?
  • Am I really enjoying our time together (or am I overlooking the warning signs and tolerating what doesn’t feel right – controlling, manipulation, emotional abuse)?

To listen to/download the podcast for If I’m Such a Catch Why Am I Still Single? Click here.

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