Increase Self-Love Before Entering a Relationship

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Dating Coach, Jonathon Aslay, has written a book on self-love. Listen to his version of self-love, and how it applies to forging a great relationship.

Known as America’s Leading Midlife Dating & Relationship Coach, my podcast guest, Jonathon Aslay is a defender and protector of women’s hearts around the world. He helps women transform from attracting Mr. Wrong into finding their Mr. Right. He’s a successful entrepreneur, coach, speaker, and author of Amazon #1 New Release: What The Heck Is Self-Love Anyway?

Jonathon is like A GUY SPY to the male mind who truly understands the way a single or divorced man thinks and acts. He’s a master at helping women recognize and distinguish the difference between men who are emotionally unavailable from those who are truly ready for love.

Listen to EP 375: Jonathon Aslay – Increasing Self-Love Before Entering a Relationship.

What is self-love to you, Jonathon?

Self confidence, self reliance, self worth, self discovery. “It’s our capacity to feed our spirit, fill our love cup, and find inner peace.” As children, [most of us] got love from our parents. How can I turn that love back towards me? To attract a delicious loving relationship, it starts with yourself.

Do you have to be done with self love in order to attract in the right partner?

You’re never done! What’s most important is to recognize that the individual is responsible for their own happiness. It’s important to be in a healed place when searching for a relationship. Most women who seek dating and relationship advice come at it from a needy place. I don’t need a relationship to be happy. Explore your relationship to judgment, guilt, comparison, and your ability to reach neutrality.

How can you identify if you lack self love?

Our feelings are our barometer. When we don’t feel good, we get a clue something is up. We often think it’s because of another person. Ask yourself, “How did I create this situation for this to happen.” It’s a signal that I need to love myself in the moment.

In my book, I talk about the oxygen mask on an airplane, and how you have to put the mask on yourself first, and fill your love cup up first. Most people who are lacking self-love aren’t aware they’re in victim consciousness. They’re blaming other people and experiences for their issues.

How can you start a self-love practice?

This is about our emotional well being. Look up books or websites on personal development, self-help, and spirituality. Find the frequency that resonates with you. My favorites are The Untethered Soul and Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love. In the back of my book, I include many resources. Invest 15-minutes to one hour a day. It’s a vaccination to impending chaos.

How can you learn if your partner or date practices self-love?

If you’ve already begun your own self-love practice, ask the question. “Say, this is something I do, do you have a spiritual practice, too? You can also ask, “What did you learn about yourself since your last relationship?”

What are your final words of wisdom for people who want to go on their last first date?

Your last first date is with yourself. Be the partner you want to be. You are your soulmate. Operate from that mindset.

Jonathan’s gift of the first few chapters of his book at

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