Inner Bonding: Heal Yourself So You Can Truly Love Another

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Inner Bonding is a 6-step process to heal yourself and be able to love with a full heart. Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul and learn about inner bonding.

My podcast guest, Dr. Margaret Paul, is a bestselling author, relationship expert, popular Huffington Post and MindBodyGreen writer and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette.

She has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Oprah. Her book titles include “Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You”, “Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By God,” “Healing Your Aloneness” and “Inner Bonding.” Margaret has successfully worked with thousands and taught classes and seminars for over 48 years.

Enjoy highlights below of episode #257: Dr. Margaret Paul: Inner Bonding—the Power to Heal Yourself.


Inner Bonding: Heal Yourself So You Can Truly Love Another

What inspired you to co-create the Inner Bonding Work?

I had been on a search for happiness and peace for a long time. I had become a traditional psychotherapist and wasn’t happy with the results. I was praying for a process that worked. I met the co-creator of Inner Bonding, Dr. Erika Chopich, and it’s evolved into a powerful process.


How has Inner Bonding changed your life?

The biggest change is I never felt true joy until I practiced Inner Bonding. I had grown up with a raging mother and sexually abusive father. When i started practicing Inner Bonding, everything changed. I now live on a 35 acre range with horses, which is something I’ve always dreamed of, I am in a place of personal power and I value who I am. I am not dependent on another’s approval for my happiness. 

My ex-husband and I are now good friends, and he recently apologized to me for all the pain he caused me. He told me he thought I was too good for him. He was insecure that he couldn’t match me, so he had to keep me down. When men are threatened by women, they have to keep them down to feel good about themselves. 


What is the ‘inner child’ and why is it so important to be in tune with yours?

Your inner child is your soul, essence, core self, and feeling self. When you get a feeling of anxiety or depression or anger, it’s your inner child letting you know that you are abandoning yourself. In the part of our brains called the amygdala, our false beliefs get programmed. 

When our intention is to protect against pain with controlling behavior, we are operating from the wounded ego. Our inner child reacts to let you know that your wounded self is in charge and the inner child is abandoned. When you’re creative and full of love, you’re operating out of the loving adult self, or your higher self. You’re connecting to your higher source which guides you.


What do you mean by self-abandonment and how does this affect relationships?

When you abandon yourself, you give your inner child away to another person, and you’re upset that person doesn’t give you what you need. Most people are in relationships to get something from another person. We can only share love when we practice self-love first. Then it can overflow. Getting love doesn’t bring joy. The greatest joy is sharing love.


What are the six steps of Inner Bonding?

[Excerpts from The Six Steps of Inner Bonding Home Study Course]

Step One: Become mindful of your feelings. Decide that you want 100% responsibility for the ways in which you may be causing your own pain, and for creating your own peace and joy.

Step Two: Choose the intent to learn to love yourself and others. Making this choice opens your heart, allows Divine Love, in and moves you into your loving adult self.

Step Three: Choose to welcome, embrace and dialogue with your wounded self, exploring your thoughts/false beliefs and the resulting behaviors that may be causing your pain. Bring compassion to your core-Self feelings. Explore your gifts and what brings joy to your core Self.

Step Four: Dialogue with your spiritual Guidance, discovering the truth and loving action toward your self.

Step Five: Take the loving action learned in Step Four.

Step Six: Evaluate the effectiveness of your loving action.  

These steps are actually a powerful roadmap to healing the false beliefs that may be keeping you limited in your personal life and at work. 


Connect with Dr. Margaret Paul here.

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