Insider Secrets to Sex, Love & Attraction

Posted by in communication skills in dating, dating in midlife, love after 40 | 0 comments

love & attractionJulieanne O’Connor is the author of the SPELLING IT OUT book series which includes Spelling It Out for Your Man, Insider Secrets to Sex, Love and Attraction, for Men and Women and Spelling It Out for Your Career, Insider Secrets to Living Your Dreams and Passions. Julieanne’s 20+ year study of people has crossed all confines including geographic and economic boundaries, and themes continue to be recurring. With simple and fundamental changes that can be made, people can literally change their lives by using the art of relating. Mission: “To put RELATE back into RELATIONSHIPS!”

Following are loosely transcribed highlights of our radio interview, Spelling it Out: Insider Secrets to Sex, Love, & Attraction. 

Insider Secrets to Sex, Love & Attraction

What are some common causes of unhappiness in relationships?

Some mistakes are having extreme expectations. Men and women communicate very differently, so sometimes women drop hints and expect men to pick up on their hints. Women seek reassurance in many different ways. Some women question their worth after a date [if he doesn’t call back]. Spell it out for your man. It takes courage to say what you want and what’s necessary for you. When you set expectations vs. having expectations, that’s a huge factor in the success of a relationship.

What are one or two things men and women don’t see eye to eye on?

All humans have different levels of femininity and masculinity. You may have reversed roles, which is okay. But let’s look at how men and women differ. Men are perceived as terrible listeners. They don’t always listen well because they are occupying one part of their brains at a time. The reason they’re not listening is because they’re thinking about something else. It’s a matter of timing, not usually disrespect. Another difference is sexual. Men come to relationships through attraction, and women come through romance and fairy tale, ideals of what a relationship should look like. Throw out the ‘what it should look like’ and you’ll have so much more success.

What do most men and women say when you ask them, “What’s the secret to a happy marriage/relationship?”

It’s about what functions and works for you. Realize that it’s your life and others need to fit around that. If both people are making themselves happy, you can communicate what makes you happy to your partner. And then trust that he/she will be there for you. 

To listen to the entire episode, please click here.

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