Is It Ever Okay to Lie In Online Dating?

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lie in online dating

Is it ever okay to lie in online dating? In this video, I discuss the most common lies, which to forgive and when to walk away.

Are you tired of men who lie in online dating? While online dating presents a wonderful opportunity to search for love much more broadly than you could in ‘real life’, there are also unique challenges. Many first dates don’t go well for the following reasons: He was shorter, heavier or older than his profile represented. In other words, he lied about his height, age and weight. And that made you wonder if he was going to lie about other things.

In this video, I discuss when it’s okay to lie and when it’s not.

Is It Ever Okay to Lie In Online Dating?


Men tend to lie about their height and occupation, and women lie more about their weight and appearance, posting less accurate photos than men.

Age is also one of the most common fibs in online dating-for both men AND women. 


Men lie about their height, because they think all women want tall men.

People lie about their age to be found in searches. If their age is off by a few years, they could miss a potential match. So, they lie by a few years to be found in a search.

Some people lie about bigger things, like who they really are, where they live, and whether they’re just trying to scam you. There are signs of scammers you should be aware of. Here’s a link to an article I wrote to learn more about scammers.

I’m going to focus on the everyday lies we find in online dating, the ones that are less egregious. 


The short answer is…yes. While it would be wonderful if no one every lied, that’s just not the case in the majority of online profiles. If you think about it, you’ve probably lied in your profile, too. Whether you embellished your volunteer work, didn’t tell the truth about being unemployed, or posted photos that don’t look like you do today, those are all forms of lying. Have you posted photos of your hair in different shades or styles, or body shots when you weighed ten pounds less? 

We do this to get the attention of the men we like in the crowded market of online dating. We all want to stand out and be noticed. 


I believe that if a person comes clean right away, it’s okay. This type of fib is considered more of a ‘white lie’, and it’s not usually an indication of a character flaw.


I encourage you to not write a man off if he lies about his age…if he tells you the truth right away. You can state your value around trust and truth, and get curious about why he felt the need to lie. See how he responds. If you feel a strong connection and this was the only lie, forgive him and get to know him better. 


Don’t forgive the age fib if he doesn’t come clean right away, or he gets defensive about it. 

Don’t forgive a big lie or series of lies, where a man can’t keep his stories straight.

There’s a difference between a chronic liar and someone who tells a little lie to be found in a search. When you’re clear about the difference, you won’t write off a man who’s a gem in every other way.

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