Is it Okay to Date a Separated Man?

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date a separated man

Is it ever wise to date a separated man? Like most things, the answer is not simply ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Watch this video to hear my thoughts.

Most women feel they should NOT date a separated man because:

a. He may not be over his ex yet, and they might reconcile.

b. He may not be emotionally ready for a relationship yet.

I feel this is a much more nuanced issue. There are MANY reasons why a man could still not be divorced. Plus, I don’t believe in hard and fast rules. Instead, I teach principles or guidelines to follow if you want to go on your last first date. Watch this video to learn more…

Should You Date a Separated Man?

Principle #1 – Lead With Curiosity

Just because a man is separated, it doesn’t automatically make him the wrong person for you. Learn more about his separation before judging him. Every person has their own story about emotional readiness. Find out his. Start the conversation with something like, “I noticed you’re separated. Can you tell me more about that?”

Principle #2 – Know Your Must-Haves and Dealbreakers

Be clear about what you must have in a partner and what type of relationship you’re looking for. Don’t compromise on either. A man could be separated and be a good match, and he could be divorced twenty years and be a terrible match.

Principle #3 – Flip the Switch

I encourage you to flip this around and ask yourself, “What if it was ME dating after my divorce? Was I emotionally ready? Was I clear about what I wanted in a partner? Do I want to date a man who’s in a similar place emotionally as I was?” 

5 things to consider before dating a man who’s separated

1. What’s his emotional state?

2. Is it a contentious divorce?

3. What’s his living situation?

4. What’s his financial situation?

5. What’s his custody agreement?

There are people who are separated and emotionally available for a relationship, and there are those who are not. When you know what you want and need, ask the right questions, and go in with an open mind, you might just meet your last first date!


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