Is This His Last First Date?

Posted by in first date success, online dating after 40 | 0 comments

last first dateDear Sandy,

I will try to keep this as short as possible. I started conversing with a very nice lady on a dating site. We decided to exchange contact info (numbers, email, etc). We went on our first date last night. She is really everything that I have been looking for in a woman. Anyways we go on our date. We started out with a cup of coffee, then went horseback riding, and then met later in the evening for dinner. The date was fabulous, and ended with a soft kiss on the pier under the stars. I was all smiles afterwards and was gleaming all day. Today when I was taking a break from work I logged onto my facebook, and the first thing I see at the top of my news feed posted by her is “I think I had my last first date last night.” Am I wrong for being a bit apprehensive about continuing to see her again. That comment paused me. I think she is great and all, but it never crossed my mind at all of that possibly being my last first date. Should I ask her what she meant by that comment and let her know I am nowhere near that way of thinking, or just continue to go with the flow and see where things go? Thanks in advance!

Harry

Dear Harry,

I love this letter because it illustrates once again how men and women often see relationships differently. And their perspectives can lead to misunderstandings that can make or break a relationship, especially in the early stages.

First, congratulations on meeting someone you clicked with so strongly online. Too many people think that online dating doesn’t work, but it does. People like you meet special people all day, every day.

Second, why are you Facebook friends? Too soon for that kind of connection. My advice is to keep any relationship off of Facebook until you’re exclusive. (Unless of course you met on Facebook, but that’s a whole other story…)

Third, here’s how I see what went down. You had a wonderful, long, romantic date. That’s amazing! And your woman was so excited, her hormones were raging, she felt bonded, and she wanted to share that excitement with her friends. Unfortunately, you’re one of those friends.

Last First Date?

Seeing something like that in print so early on can be scary. Hey ~ it was only one freakin’ date! Now, I do know couples who met each other on a blind date, and they both knew they would end up married. But that’s a rarity.

It does take time to really know someone, even if the first date was so positive.

I think your lady friend was just feeling great after the date. So were you. So, take it from there.

Take things at your own pace. Don’t feel pressured that she has to be the ‘one’, even though she might be. Go with the flow, as you say.

If you feel comfortable bringing it up, then do so, without being angry or accusatory. Just state what you saw and ask her what she meant by it. You can tell her how it felt to you to see it in print.

But honestly, you probably don’t need to talk about it. Go out with her, enjoy her company, and see what happens.

Good luck to you, Harry. Keep me posted!

xoxo

Sandy

 

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