It’s Never Too Late

Posted by in understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

never too late

I’m living proof that it’s never too late to begin again. If you’re feeling stuck in life or love, watch this video.

It’s Never Too Late! Are you settling in your life in any way? For the first fifty years of my life, I settled in love, life, and work. To the outside world, I had it all; a husband who was a comedian with a successful career, we worked together, and I did my own work as an artist painting furniture (not earning much money), three healthy kids, a beautiful home in Stamford, CT, volunteer work…. But on the inside, I felt lonely, disrespected, trapped, judged, and unfulfilled.

Yes, I had a lot to be grateful for, but I was in an unhappy marriage. I didn’t feel seen, heard or respected. Why did I stay? When I looked around me, I saw mostly unhappy marriages. Why leave my husband when this was probably as good as it would get?

So I did what I could to make my life work.

I got busy. Monday night was Israeli dance, Tuesday night choir, Wednesday night PTA meetings, Thursday night I volunteered at my synagogue. Busy busy busy. Being busy is just a way to numb yourself. But I didn’t know what else to do.

And then something happened that would change my life.

I was hired to run the art department at a summer sleep-away camp in Pennsylvania. I took my three kids, and we were on our own for the first time since I got married. My husband came up on the weekends, and I couldn’t wait for him to leave. I loved camp, he hated it, and all our differences became crystallized for me. Sometimes it takes distance for you to see things clearly.

That was when I finally knew…I had to leave my marriage, to save myself.

I had to  reclaim the parts of me that were lost along the way. That was when I began a journey to find my voice. And to discover a life that  would give me meaning and light me up.

My life truly began when I left the life I had and stepped into my new home for the first time.

My friend came over to celebrate, and we toasted to a life that was yet to reveal itself. I had no idea I’d end up creating a successful coaching business, or that my relationship with my kids would be stronger than it was before the divorce. I didn’t know that I’d fall in love or make new friends. I had no clue I’d become a public speaker and even deliver a TEDx speech. What I did know was I was finally free to be me. And that was enough.

I learned two important lessons when I started over, and I’d like to share them with you:

    1.    It’s never too late to start again. I was almost 50 when I left my husband. Whether you’re in your twenties, thirties, forties or beyond, if you’re settling in any way, it’s never too late to pivot and begin again.

    2.    You must leave what’s holding you back to have what’s better for you.

My challenge for you:

Are you settling at work, in your friendships, in your love life? Pick one area of your life where you might be settling, and think about what you want, a hairy scary goal. Take one baby step out of your comfort zone towards the goal of your dreams. Push the limits of what’s possible for you. Because it’s never too late to have the life you always wanted.

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find love this year, sign up for a complimentary 1/2 hour breakthrough session with Sandy

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Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love.


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