I’ve Been So Busy, I Forgot to Find a Boyfriend

Posted by in dating in midlife, single women over 40 | 0 comments

find a boyfriend“My friend Monica needs your help!” said Anna, a book editor I recently met at a book-signing event in Manhattan. Monica (not her real name) is beautiful; slim, sexy, salt and pepper hair, great skin, and stylishly dressed in a colorful form-fitting dress in blues and greens. She seemed to be around 60 years-old, and her bubbly personality and smart sense of humor drew me in instantly. “Hi Sandy. So you’re a dating coach? Maybe you can help me. I just realized – I forgot to find a boyfriend!”

Monica had a wonderful long marriage to the love of her life. He died about 12 years ago, and over the years that followed his death, Monica focused on building a career in the publishing industry. She became a top literary agent, representing some of the biggest names in print. She has a full life; successful happy children, wonderful friends, and exciting social events in and around Manhattan. Her life is busy and fulfilling. Except for one thing. She recently realized…

I forgot to find a boyfriend! 

She’s been fixed up a few times, and they’ve been the wrong men for her. One of them, a 70-something man who lived a few hours away, was her on again, off again guy for about a year. She was perfectly happy with their arrangement. After all, she had a busy life. Who had time for dating? Every so often, he popped in and that was just right. Until…

One day, he called and said, “I’ve found someone else.”

“Don’t tell me she’s 35 years-old!” joked Monica. Long distance boyfriend took a long pause.

“Oh no, you didn’t!!” said Monica. He did. He wanted arm candy, someone to suit his 70-year old ego, his adolescent self.

Monica had formed some pretty awful conclusions about men based on her limited experience with dating as a widow. Most men just want younger women. Most men are babies. Most men online are losers and liars. Most men, most men, most men.

Time for a fresh perspective on dating after 50

Monica was looking at dating through the lens of distrust and negativity. And if she continues to look through that distorted lens, that’s what she’ll continue to find. We attract what we believe we’ll attract.

Here’s the good news. If she changes her negative approach to dating, she’ll begin to attract some lovely grownup men who want to date women her age. They find women like her sexy, smart, and deliciously grown up. Less drama, more connection and deeper conversation.

Maybe you’re like Monica. You pushed off dating and built a successful business. You love your life. Everything is fabulous until you wake up one day and wish you had a man to share that wonderful life with.

It’s never too late to find a boyfriend

I believe that with the right mindset, you can find a boyfriend at any age. The process begins with changing your limiting beliefs. You’re not too old or too overweight. You’re not living in the wrong place, and your opportunity to find a boyfriend hasn’t passed you by.

I’ve created several ways to help women like Monica find a boyfriend and a life partner. My online dating success program helps jumpstart women to find love online. And if you are truly committed to attracting lasting love this year, my 3-month personal coaching program is what you need. I’ll help you overcome those voices in your head that say that you’re not worthy, you’re too old, or there are no good men out there. I’ll help you find those fabulous guys, because they are out there. Yes you can find a boyfriend. It’s never too late.

Have you focused on building a successful career, but think it’s too late to find a boyfriend? Please share your story of searching for love after 50.


For a copy of Sandy’s FREE report, “The Top Three Mistakes Midlife Daters Make (and how to turn them around to find love now)” please click here.

‘Like’ Sandy’s  Facebook page for inspiring posts on dating and relationships & links to her weekly radio show.


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