Learn How to Reparent Yourself
If you grew up in a home where your emotional needs weren’t met, you can learn to reparent yourself. Learn how in this video.
If you grew up in a home where your emotional needs weren’t met, or worse, there was any type of abuse or trauma, it often leads to dysfunctional adult relationships. One of the ways to heal is to reparent yourself. In this video, you’ll learn what reparenting is and the four steps I teach to begin the process.
Learn How to Reparent Yourself and Attract in Healthy Love
What is reparenting yourself?
The type of reparenting I’m speaking about is meeting the needs of your childhood self that you never got from your parents or caretakers as a small child. In most cases, even if your parents are still alive, you will not be able to get what you need from them emotionally. Learning to become your own parent allows you to heal the emotional wound left by your parents.
What’s the benefit of reparenting yourself?
What I’ve witnessed both in myself and my clients is the direct correlation between our most painful experiences as a young child and the partners we choose as adults. Basically, our five-year-old self chooses our dysfunctional partners, because of an unconscious need to get the love we didn’t receive at that age. Our primal brain wants to get love from mom or dad, and the partner we choose is a surrogate, whether we’re aware of it or not. We can’t get love from someone who is incapable of loving us. When we reparent ourselves, we fill the hole left by childhood traumas, and we attract partners at a much more mature level.
4 steps to begin the reparenting process
1. Be kind to yourself: Reparenting can feel strange at first. It’s a process that takes time and self-compassion. Breathing can remind you to stay present in this moment and give yourself all the time you need to undo the damage that was created a long time ago.
2. Find a photo of yourself at the age when you first felt the wound: Think back to when you first felt scared, alone, misunderstood, abandoned, or shut down. Then, find a photo of yourself at that age and place it where you can see it everyday.
3. Give that little person in the photo the love she didn’t get: What are the messages you wanted to hear from your parents? That you’re enough? That you’re lovable just as you are (not only when you get good grades)? Tell that little girl in the photo what she wanted to hear. It may feel strange in the beginning, but she needs you to love her just as she is.
4. Celebrate! You were notrecognized, celebrated, and seen for the unique and special person you are as a child. That’s why it’s important to celebrate every step of self-love and self-compassion as you reparent yourself. Reparenting is not easy. Acknowledge the courage it takes, and celebrate the person you’re becoming, the person you’ve always been deep inside.
I believe it’s never too late to give yourself what your parents couldn’t. You can reparent yourself and fill in the gaps between what you needed and what your parents could give. This is the path to your last first date!
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