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Married Men Who Prey on Single Women - Last First Date | Last First Date

Married Men Who Prey on Single Women

Posted by in dating a dangerous man, red flags in relationships | 2 comments

Married Men Who Prey on Single Women

A woman in my private Facebook group recently posted about married men who prey on single women. Here’s what happened….

What do you do if you’re a single woman who attracts married men? Has this ever happened to you? A woman in my private Facebook group recently posted about married men who prey on single women. Here’s what she said:

“Something that’s happened to me quite a bit are the married men claiming that they are single looking for a relationship. NOT kidding. It’s such a cray cray thing. Last year I was communicating with a GREAT guy. For weeks! Well he was out of town for a wedding and I was out of town for a funeral. The whole time we were communicating in writing.

Then that week we finally met and it truly was the best first date ever. At that time we found out each others names, etc. He asked if he could see me again and said he was very interested in me. The date lasted like 6 1/2 hours and was a gas!

So since he expressed interest in knowing me more I felt safe adding him to my FB since that’s a great way to know me and what I’m about. I went to add him only to discover his profile photo was of him getting married five days prior to our date. The wedding he was at that prior weekend was HIS!!!! Omg, I was sick to my stomach and heart broken. He is not the first btw who has lied. I don’t get it. But it’s not just men. I’ve met men who had women do this to them. Gah!”

Married Men Who Prey on Single Women

While it sucks when this happens, there are a few ways to reduce the risk of this happening to you. Let’s analyze what happened to this woman, and learn from her experience.

 

1.  Last year I was communicating with a GREAT guy. For weeks!

They wrote to each other for several weeks before meeting. In the future, I advise all of you to vet the men you’re meeting with a few email/text exchanges, a short phone call, and then MEET AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Many liars keep you on email for a long time before meeting (or never meeting).

Yes, they were both busy, her at a funeral, him at his own wedding. (You can’t make this stuff up!)

But it doesn’t take weeks to set up a date unless you’re both out of town or sick. Meet and see if you click in person asap.

When I first started dating, I built a pseudo relationship with a guy I met online. By the time we met five days later, we had spoken on the phone for hours, exchanged scores of emails, and I was dreaming of walking down the aisle with him. The date was a disaster. I had built him up so much, anything real was bound to be a disappointment.

So whether it’s to dodge the bullet of a scammer or liar, or just avoid disappointment due to false expectations, try and meet as soon as you can.

 

2. The date lasted like 6 1/2 hours and was a gas!

They had a 6 1/2 hour first date? That’s way too long. I get it, it’s easy to get swept away in the presence of a charmer.

Warning: sexy, charming men are often very bad news. If you’re feeling butterflies and extreme attraction, you should run for the hills.

Keep the first ‘meet date’ short and sweet. 1/2 hour to 1 1/2 hours maximum. Even if you like a guy, leave him wanting more. Otherwise, you can get swept up in the projection of who you think he is, rather than who he really is.

 

3. I felt safe adding him to my FB.

She Facebook friended him after one date? While this provided her with his wedding photo, and that was a good thing, please don’t friend the men you’re meeting before you’re involved in a very serious relationship.

She could have googled him and found out the same info.

Facebook friending can be crazy making. It can lead to stalking, over-analyzing a man’s private life, and making stuff up to fill in the blanks of what you don’t know about a guy.

One key sign of a healthy relationship is when there’s no evidence of it on social media!

Please stay safe, ladies. Learn to recognize the signs of someone who is emotionally or physically dangerous to you.

Watch this short video to help you quickly identify if there’s a lasting love connection.

  • Know your must-haves and deal breakers.
  • Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
  • Beware of overly charming men.
  • A profile is not a person.
  • Get to know the men you meet, and don’t give your heart up so quickly.
  • You are a treasure, and he has to put effort in to show you he’s worthy of you.

Have you ever unknowingly dated a married man? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts!

Hey, if you want to join the juicy conversation going on in my Facebook Group, Your Last First Date, click below to join us!

Comments

2 Comments

  1. Hi Sandy, how do I become part of your Facebook group? It sounds very informative! I’m on Zoosk & enjoy chatting for a little bit before meeting a guy in person. I find it to be less awkward and more to talk about. I do agree with not friending him until we’re both serious about our relationship. How does one get info on him without paying for a background check?

  2. Patty,
    There’s a link at the bottom of the post to join our group. Sounds like you’re a smart dater! In terms of getting background information? I believe in the age-old GUT CHECK. Your intuition picks up on little things here and there that feel off. Ask questions about those things. Watch his words and actions. I’ve never done a backup check in my life, and my intuition has served me well!

    Hope to see you in YOUR LAST FIRST DATE on Facebook!

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