Nice Guy, No Chemistry?

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife | 0 comments

nice guy

You’re dating a nice guy, but you don’t feel any sparks. Here are five tips for dating the nice guy with no chemistry.

If you’re looking for a serious long-term relationship, and you’ve been attracted to the bad boys and players, you might want to consider dating a nice guy.

But, what happens if that nice man doesn’t turn you on? If you’ve met nice guys with no chemistry, consider these five tips before you move on to date those bad boys again.

Five Tips For When You’re Dating a Nice Guy With No Chemistry

1. Don’t look for instant chemistry

Butterflies are often a sign of lust, not a deep connection. And lust can lead to a quick crash and burn. So, if you don’t feel immediate sparks but he checks many items on your must-have list, that’s a good thing. Keep dating him. Get to know him a little better and see if the attraction grows after a few dates.

2. Build on other types of chemistry

If you don’t feel an immediate attraction, keep in mind five different types of chemistry that can draw people together:

  1. Physical 
  2. Emotional 
  3. Intellectual
  4. Creative
  5. Spiritual

3. Have realistic expectations of chemistry

Forget the Hollywood stereotypes of love. True love doesn’t work that way. Get to know real life couples who have a deep connection. Chemistry is built through shared values, interests, and compatibility in other areas.

4. Go on more exciting dates

Traditional coffee dates don’t do much to create romantic connections. Get out of your comfort zone and do something more exciting like go-karting or ax throwing. These types of dates create the type of connection that can spark romance.

5. Make the second date the default

First date jitters can lead to a lack of connection, so don’t give up after one date if the guy is nice but there’s no chemistry. If you make the second date the default, you might be surprised at how your nice guy shows up when he’s more relaxed.


As you can see, there are several types of chemistry, and instant attraction is very rare.

There are also nice guys who are bland, people pleasers, or have no back bone. They’re nice, but there is no connection. Don’t try to force the attraction with those men.

Do give the nice guy a chance if you enjoy his company, he makes you laugh, and you’re still curious to know more about him. You might have found your last first date!

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with me and explore how private coaching can help!

Join my free Facebook group, Your Last First Date

Get a copy of my books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.


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