Older Men Dating Much Younger Women

Posted by in dating after divorce, dating in midlife, online dating after 40 | 2 comments

older man younger womanDear Sandy,

Why do so many gentleman nearing the age of 60 write in their dating profiles that they want someone to have children with? Everyone is entitled to want & dream of anything they want, but I don’t understand why men that age are looking for children of their own? Aren’t they too old? They would be 80 when their kids are in college! Why on earth are older men dating much younger women? How can they possibly have much in common with each other?


Dear Sheila,

I’ve heard a version of your question from hundreds of women. It’s a great question. It’s hard to imagine why someone in their fifties and sixties would want to spawn more kids. Many of them already have children – sometimes up to four or five from a first or second marriage! Why more kids? Why this late in life?

I wish I could tell you that I had the perfect answer, but I’m afraid there isn’t one answer to this question. People are motivated to do things for very different reasons. Let’s think of a few possible motivators for a man of 60 to marry a woman in her twenties or thirties and have a few more kids to add to the litter (sorry, I couldn’t help myself).

Why are older men dating much younger women?

1. It’s an ego thing.

2. They are trying to fulfill a biblical directive to sire many children.

3. They want to stay forever young.

4. They are afraid of impending death.

5. They are delusional.

It seems that there will always be men who chase women up to half their age. You can’t change those men. But what you can do is look for men who want a mature woman by their side as they grow older.

Here’s the thing; many older men dating much younger women don’t have children with them. Because those younger women often tire of these older men.

So, instead of getting frustrated that so many older men want younger women, seek out those wonderful silver foxes. They are out there, and they are attracted to sexy women in midlife.

Those men love a woman who is independent, strong, smart, can communicate her feelings and needs well, and is happy with herself. If you work on being all those things for your own happiness and well-being, you’ll soon attract a quality hot midlife man with mojo!








  1. What about when it is their religious leaders/guides themselves who are advising these men to find a younger woman so these men can have kids – could that be the reason for the delusion you listed above?

  2. Dina,

    Yes, there are religious leaders who are advising these older men to keep having children. I recently discussed this with the head of JOFA and a blogger who blogged about this topic. I may be hosting a forum in New York to discuss this issue and come up with a plan of action. Again, you can’t change men, but you can look for men who don’t abide by these ‘laws’. Personally, I feel this is an abomination and a bastardization of the law. I’m aware of the issues and am not happy with this way of thinking.


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