Online Dating Made Easy For The Shy At Heart

Posted by in online dating after 40 | 0 comments

online dating If you’re shy, don’t just send winks and canned flirts. Get noticed by doing this instead…

Communicating with your online dating love interest can be confusing. Should women send first emails? (Absolutely!) What do you write in a first email? (More on that below.) What about flirts, winks, and smiley faces? Should you send or respond to them?

And what if you’re shy? Making the first move can feel daunting. I received this email from a woman who’s perplexed about online dating communication:

Dear Sandy,

How do you feel about winks, flirts, and other automatic ways of communicating in online dating? I am shy and find this to be a comfortable way to let a guy know I’m interested.


Dear Bea,

Flirts and winks and smiles — they’re a quick and easy way to communicate with your e-match. Unfortunately, most men don’t respond to them. These canned responses are often viewed as lazy and impersonal.

It’s okay that you’re shy, but if you don’t move a little out of your comfort zone in your online dating communication, you’ll probably get ignored. So, how do you overcome your shyness? Try writing an email instead of a flirt. You can take all the time you need to compose a great email that will catch his interest. There’s no pressure to be spontaneous or quick on your feet.


  1. MAKE IT PERSONAL. Pick out one item from his profile that grabbed your attention and include it in your email. I like to choose the most obscure thing he wrote. For example, if he writes that he’s a doctor but has a secret desire to write a novel, ask him about that book. Then tell him that you get along well with creative men. Read more at YourTango


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